Now I’m gonna take the leap here and suggest (as it probably has been, being a film out for 10 years now) that Anne Rice didn’t understand where this film was coming from or going. A little later, I’ll explain why. But it is sad for me to see that Rotten Tomatoes (or any other reviewer) thought that this film was so poor. I have reasons for liking it, but there’s truly really only one. But plot first.
In a modern day world with the rise of Nu Metal in the early 2000’s, Lestat the Vampire (Stuart Townsend) rises to a new sound he had never heard before. A sound that rises him from the grave. Upon encountering the goth band making all the racket, Lestat
Townsend as Lestat. Anyone see Dorian Gray?
reveals himself to be a centuries old vampire comes to make all their wishes come true. Now he just broke the unspoken agreement all vampires tailor themselves to. Don’t talk about being a vampire, or that vampires exist. But he is doing this for a reason.
To break the monotony. His silken and brooding voice (sung by none other than Jonathan Davis of Korn) charms all the goths in the entire world, a la Deathklok from Adult Swim. Pronouncing proudly that he is a vampire, Lestat hopes that other vampires will come out of hiding, even if it is only to get him. He has the world on a string, and he’s shaking it to find out where they’re hiding.
The beautifully frightening Aaliyah.
Meanwhile, at the London paranormal research building, Talamasca…
Jesse Reeves (Marguerite Moreau) is a young researcher, looking into whether or not Lestat is actually a vampire. Analyzing his lyrics, she feels she’s stumbled onto something real. With a colleague of hers confirming that it’s true, David Talbot (Paul McGann, you Dr. Who fans out there may know him as the 8th Doctor… personally, I don’t care.) hands her a diary of Lestat’s pasts and beginnings. When the two intertwine, a evil, ancient presence arises, leading to a new world order. Unless it can be stopped. I’m talking about Aaliyah as Akasha, the vampire Queen of Egypt. Word.
So you have your wondefully sexy and fierce R&B singer that I said I loved from Romeo Must Die. She takes on this role with as much grace before her tragic end (this film is dedicated to her). You have Stuart Townsend, the man who was almost destined to play Aragorn before Peter Jackson up and said he didn’t want him. You may ask, where have I seen Townsend before in a similar film? Look no further than the suave Dorian Gray in The League of Extraordinary
Some pimpin’ old vampires.
Gentlemen. Badass. He was a great addition to the film and really had the whole “Metal Sex God in Leather Pants” look going on. And Jonathan Davis backing him up on vocals. He’s Irish too, so you can’t hate. Marguerite Moreau was beautiful as ever in the film, giving Lestat a reason to fight for humans. And can I say again that Jonathan Davis makes a cameo in the film? Look out for him.
The Moreau factor.
And this is where I come to why I liked the film. Nu Metal. The early 2000’s framed my pathway into teenagery. That means I was frustrated and awkward. And what better music to listen to than Deftones, Static-X (my favorite bands), Disturbed, and the almighty Korn? Nothing in the world soothes my soul more than death metal. And you get all new hauntingly original songs from Korn? This movie is a package deal. It could’ve almost worked out as a rock opera. I’d be down.
And this is also the point where Anne Rice doesn’t get it. Goths/metal have forever been linked with vampires. It’s a fact now at this point. And a woman who was 58 at the time of this movie should’ve keeled over dead at the use of music in this film. New age music that’s not from my early years? Noooooooo! Understandable response. The movie is nothing she’s seen because it’s meant for the goth scene. The punk and metal scene. Because that strain of music has adopted the vampire image and feel. And, in that way, this movie works for me as a metal fan.
Jonathan Davis on his throne of Korns.
There are those out there who think that Korn is a hack band. They’re original, true, that can’t be denied. But, for some people, they’re washed up, or not hard enough for a lot of hardcore metal fans. They’re like Limp Biskit (I don’t even care to look up his name…) But that’s all wrong. And they hate old Limpy boy. Korn has been around since 1993. It is now 2012. They are infusing techno methods now, into their music. They were ahead of the curve when it came to electronic music back in the day, before all this started. They’re metal, they’re rap metal, they’re nu metal. They. Are. Korn. They can do whatever the shit they want. They are the original when it comes to everything. They are groovy and they are hard. And they hate the world. What could be better?
Now that you know my secret obsession with Korn, you know why this movie works for me. But it’s just my opinion. The acting was fine (I thought Stuart Townsend really stood out), and I pooped myself the second I heard him sing and I knew it was Jonathan Davis. It just
Can’t get enough of the sexy darkness.
clicked with me. It doesn’t have to with you. That’s why I specially recommend this to fans of Nu Metal and all things dark. For those of the 90’s and 2000’s who want to relive a bit of angst. And maybe suck some blood. 7.1 out of 10.
My friends had talked about this movie in passing and said it was pretty damn funny. From the title, I thought it was going to be some sort of American Pie ripoff. Not being a big fan of that idea, I put off watching the movie. I put off watching it for far too long. I should’ve watched it the day it was mentioned. This commercial flop turned cult following (by me and my friends) really is a worthwhile film to watch, and then rewatch as many times as possible. This cast has a bunch of star studded comedians right before their prime, and they destroy this movie with how creatively comedic they really are. A big nod to David Wain and Michael Showalter (Of the Michael and Michael Have Issues show, a show cut too short by Comedy Central) for their great writing based on their childhood camp experiences.
This movies got a lot of moving parts going on all at once. Lots of people getting lots of face time all at once, and its mayhem and a perfect parody of a 1980’s feel good camp film. First off, every camp counselor at this movie is well into their mid 20’s, early 30’s. It’s so ridiculously misrepresented that it has to be laughed at. And the whole point of this movie, as the title implies, is about sex. It’s the last day of camp, and every camp counselor wants to get with another camp counselor. But a lot of stuff happens in this day.
All the wonderful faces of the film.
I don’t wanna delve into every funny scene or situation, so I’ll just lay down the groundwork for this film. Beth (Janeane Garofalo) is the camp director, who is a bit slow in the womanly department. For being a feminist, this fits Garofalo’s humor quite well (I’ve loved her since Dogma). She falls in love with Henry (David Hyde Pierce), an astrophysicist who happens to be vacationing right next to the camp. His inadequacy with social situations creates some funny outbursts. Coop (Michael Showalter) is seen as the main protagonist in the film, trying to win away Katie (Marguerite Moreau) from her toolish and hilariously stereotypical boyfriend, Andy (Paul Rudd). There’s Victor (Ken Marino) and his friend Neil (Joe Lo Truglio) and the girl who comes between them and their campers when it comes to a river rafting ride. And, meanwhile, Gail (Molly Shannon), the arts and crafts counselor, is being consoled after her divorce by her campers.
A training montage for the ages, with Christopher Meloni.
There’s a lot more going on here, but you are hereby warned. There is some gay butt sex between two characters you wouldn’t expect. And, despite its tastefulness, its quite graphic in its suggestion. But throw in even more great comedic actors like Michael Ian Black, Elizabeth Banks (for sex appeal), Amy Poehler (eh, not so good…), Bradley Cooper, and Christopher Meloni as a twist in his acting style from Law and Order: SVU, and you got an all-star cast that actually has a majority of actors from Children’s Hospital on Adult Swim. Thank god for that.
This movie takes everything that John Cusack stood for in his earlier years and parodies it. For me, this was the comedic equivalent of Heavyweights. There’s the sexual/romantic undertone brought to the surface. The reversal of adults acting like children more than the campers themselves. A bit of slapstick/absurdist humor (I don’t think absurdist is a word, but it is by far the best and purest type of humor), and throw in an all day montage of drug addiction and you got yourself a cult following. Bravo for that.
Get some, Paul.
I love Paul Rudd in everything he does, and this film is no exception. Playing the “who gives a shit?” badboy with the best girlfriend who’s always mistreated is something he wouldn’t normally do. But after seeing his role in The 40 Year Old Virgin, my favorite role, this guy can do anything. And has done everything, even a bit of serious acting. Thank the Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce that I have a love for the Halloween series, so I could discover Paul Rudd sooner. Throw in Bradley Cooper in a role I found funnier than The Hangover, how great is that? And Molly Shannon, really letting her Superstar shine through in a more grown up role than she’s done in a while, how classy. I could rave on and on about the comedic actors in the film, but I’ll cut this short before my grandstanding this film gets out of hand.
All you really need to do is get on Netflix, or buy this movie off Amazon, and you won’t be disappointed. It has humor for everyone and a cast you can’t help but love. In David Wain’s fashion, he created a precursor to Role Models that I wish I had found when I was 12 when this movie came out. (A bit young for it, I know). But any sort of comedic inspiration such as this needs to be taken in and developed into a greater body of humor. Campy, B-rated, absurdist humor. I’ll take another helping of that, and I’ll take that prequel to this film you’ve been talking about, David Wain. Just bring on the humor some more. A well deserved, cult following 8.6 out of 10. (If you’re into my kind of humor, Meet the Spartans, Dumb & Dumber, 40 Year Old Virgin Style. Or some similar combo.)
After seeing this trailer for Tim and Eric’s new movie, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom in order to clean the boxers I had just soiled. Having watched every single episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! countless times, I had to see this the second I could get my hands on it. And I did. And it was great. But I’ll need more than just that to review a classic T&E production properly.
In this movie, a simple plot is simple. Tim and Eric, after revamping their images in the most bizarre of ways, spend a billion dollars in making a box office hit. That is about 5 minutes long. It’s one shot along a Paris street of a man in a suit of diamonds. Diamond Jim. Played by Johnny Depps. And all he has to say is “Bonjour.” He delivers the biggest of diamond rings (being Diamond Jim, Bonjour.) to a lovely waitress and the movie ends. (The credit roll reminds me of the days when I used to take credit for everything I did in my home movies…)
The lights pick up and a garishly and horrifically dressed Tim and Eric turn around in their movie seats to see Tommy Schlaaang in his Schlaaang Recliner (stirrups up and being used) in classic Cinco fashion, disgusted with their production. And seeing as they spent all the money he gave them on diamonds and things for themselves, they have to find some way to make a billion dollars. So what do they think they’ll do? Revitalize a mall.
Hi, Hi, Hi, I'm Chef Goldblum
Oh how the hi-jinks begin. Upon finding this mall in Historic Swallow Valley, they find Damien Weebs (Will Ferrell) in the back office. Sitting there in utter despair, Weebs has no idea how to push his failing mall onto some unsuspecting suckers. Until Tim and Eric fall for the aptly placed commercial in a bar bathroom. After a watch and a rewatch of Top Gun, Weebs is finally ready to turn over his mall. I honestly thought (even if it wasn’t) it was a great stab at the failed use of repetition in Family Guy. With Taquito (John C. Reilly) as their guide, the pair must vanquish a Pizza Court wolf and a handful of vagrants.
This is where the conventional plot is derailed. From here we have Reggie and his son Jeffrey (Matt O’Toole and Noah Spencer) and Tim’s obsession with Jeffrey. He even cuckolds (incorrect usage but whatevs) Reggie into giving up his son to Tim.
So what'd you think?
Righteous. And then Eric meets the love of his life, Katie (Twink Kaplan). There’s some betrayal and one of the strangest sex acts I’ve ever seen in a film, followed by one of the most graphic diarrhea scenes ever recorded. This movie has it all. As well as an explosive ending.
There were complaints in the reception as far as length. With a show that started off on Adult Swim as a 10 minute sketch comedy, this movie was 9 times that. It is almost an entire season’s length in one sitting. And this left people hanging and at times bored with the slow
Are you ready to enter the Shrim?
chugging along of the same plot at great length. I can say the same for myself. It’s not that I have ADHD or ADD, but this movie tried my patience at times. Without the freedom to jump around to whatever they felt like, it left certain parts as plot and others as pure comedy sketches. The transition between the two cut short some laughs.
Other than that, this movie hit home to millions (I hope there’s millions…) of T&EASGJ! fans all over the… planet (?) It had the characters you love from past episodes (James Quall and David Liebe Hart) and reformed actors into characters you grew to love (Will Forte and John C. Reilly). It doesn’t disappoint and delivers a decent bit more than the trailer suggested (i.e. Ray Wise returns as Dr. Doone Struts with SHRIM.). All in all you have to love the effort and the delivery Tim and Eric give to their fans of all things alternative comedy. It’s a wonderful thing. In comparison to the show, this deserves a 7.1 out of 10.