Wrath of the Titans

I had never seen the first of what may be a trilogy. I had no expectations for the second one. My friend asked me to go see it and so I did. And I have mixed feelings about Wrath of the Titans. A movie series sparked from the 1981 version, this is just one of those typical action movies. It may have some flair and epic qualities to it with its mythology come to life for Perseus, but I’m not really sure where this series is headed. I’ll just let time and some 3-D/CG effects ride the tide until the next Kraken-like creature bubbles up from the Netherworld.

What guy doesn’t like a bit of mythology with his films? I enjoyed it somewhat, but I wasn’t sure how accurate the film was to the myths. You got your Zeus (Liam Neeson), your Poseidon (Danny Huston), and you got your Hades (Ralph Fiennes). Throw in some Sam Worthington for good measure and you got yourself a film about defeating a Titan. Although it is strange this series is following the titling of Star Wars, I won’t complain too much. What I don’t get is where people get off considering Sam Worthington a quality actor. He’s good in what he does in action films, but I dunno if Avatar gave him a big head or not. Same goes for you too Thor…

Metaphor for acting career? (Hint, it’s a struggle.)

So this movie takes place a decade after Perseus killed the Kraken (thanks Wikipedia). He’s got a son now and that damn kid can’t stop crying and making all these weird faces and noises throughout the film. Even when he’s supposed to be brave at the end, he ends up yelping like a beaten dog. Where did they find this kid? So he is almost killed by the initial attack on Perseus’ shanty town by a pair of Chimeras. This scene was rather basic and didn’t really get me too hyped up yet. It doesn’t really look like Perseus/Worthington is in rare form yet and hell, it doesn’t look like he’s interacting with the beasts at all. Heads up there Warner Bros., you’re behind the ball on that new wave tech shit.

A couple of old bro’s slanging some magical spells.

Meanwhile, in the Netherworld, Kronos, king of the Gods is all tied up by his snotty young hoodlum children. But there’s a twist! Hades and Zeus’s son Ares (Edgar Ramirez) are planning on draining Zeus in order to unleash Kronos and reattain immortality. They’ve become weak because of some comment on religion and how paganism isn’t popular anymore. Things get heated and its up to Perseus, a scraggly, yet funny Agenor the Navigator (Toby Kebbell), and Andromeda (Rosamund Pike). Of the three, I’d place my best bet on Agenor. That Toby Kebbell is a relaxed, naturalistic actor who I now appreciate because of this movie. He definitely deserved his father’s trident for that one.

So there are some cyclops, some lava slanging behemoths, and some molten crusted, two-headed beasts. I would almost say that the trailer built up the movie a bit too much for how much they suggested was action in this film. There’s even a disappointing fight between Perseus and the Minotaur in this film! That beast is just as big as Perseus is, how is that possible? But there’s a lot of old man Zeus grunting and some anticlimactic fighting in what is a strange ending with Perseus and Pegasus. Worthington passes on the torch to his son and one of the only things I can say about this movie is that Gods died in this movie. Who is gonna be left to make this a trilogy with so many mythical beings gone? We’ll see if Titans makes a strategic move and decides to pit Christianity against Paganism. I’d watch that. For this, I’ll give it an entertaining watch with a 4.6 out of 10.

Set him free Sam, set him free…

The Roommate: Crap or Subtle Genius?

No, I’m just kidding. There was no genius to this movie. It was crap. If there was anything good about this, it was that it was so absurd it was funny. But what’s awesome is that it beat James Cameron’s piece of crap Sanctum (3-D, already indication of crap). I strongly dislike James Cameron and I feel the defeat of his work is a step in the right direction for humanity. (Avatar= Pocahontas= Took title from The Last Airbender, completely equaling a cinematic failure.) Anyways, time for the plot summary. And don’t tell me, “NO, NO NO, I DON’T WANT A PLOT SUMMARY, I WANT TO BE SURPRISED.” There’s nothing to ruin here, except your evening if you waste your time seeing this in theaters.

Okay, so obviously, Sara Matthews’ (Minka Kelly) roommate, Rebecca (Leighton Meester) is a psycho. This girl, (big twist) simply doesn’t take her pills. Quite a hilarious part, might I add, filled fantastically by Frances Fisher, one of two Titantic (Damn it, Cameron) actors. The other one, of course, being the homosexually (?) married (?) art design (?) teacher, Billy Zane. I know, no need for the question marks, but just based on his title, his sexual orientation comes into question. True, I love Billy Zane. Come on, he was The Phantom. (Anybody feel me on that?) But more on the minors… never.

This girl Rebecca, Sara’s insane roommate, who, by the way, they never clarify how old they are or which year they are in college. They don’t even hint at it. Come on. Yes, they may go out to a frat house, but who wouldn’t drink while making this movie? I’m sorry, tangents. But yes, this girl does some insane stuff. She draws pictures. She fries kitty cats. She pierces her own ears on the fly. She wears designer clothing. But most importantly, and most endearingly, she cares about when her roommate comes home. Yes, she cares. Maybe too much? You decide. (But DVD time, not theater time.)

Some other notable appearances in this movie come from Cam Gigandet, Twilight movie heartthrob (James) and apparent comedian. As Sara’s boyfriend Stephen, he delivers line after line of comedic genius, as he sits in as the frat band’s “drummer” (very weak). I find that ever since Twilight and his subsequent work, The Unborn, Cam’s gonna be stuck as the horror movie bf for a while. Another newcomer to horror movies is Disney Channel star, Alyson Michalka. Used to her days on Disney as a duo pop sensation with her sis A.J., this horror movie was a real breakout and quite ironic that the tweens that watched her on Disney are now old enough to see her become a slut who takes her top off quite a few times.

So yes, this movie, oddly structured around fashion and trying to psychotically become your roommate’s best friend falls short of expectations. I felt hey, this’ll be another Orphan. Orphan is a great horror movie. This on the other hand, is crap. Complete and utter comedic horror. The whole theater laughed. Besides this angst ridden teen who felt this movies poetic drama would better prepare her for her college years. But yes, I was a bit worried I’d be scared, and when I left, I felt lighthearted and happy. So thank you, Christian E. Christiansen, Denmark movie extraordinaire, you made my weekend. I feel sorry to inform you that your debut in American horror cinema will be received as a joke. I know, you were trying for something new, but I don’t feel that a psychotic phone sex killer who loves her girlies is really gonna do it. I give it 2.2 out of 10. But by all means, if you want to see this for yourself, don’t wait, see this in theaters. Bring the whole family, it’ll be a blast.