Deadfall: So many good things go oh so wrong…

Let me start this off with a short video that I watch at least one time a day to calm the nerves:

If you watch Deadfall, a couple of scenes from one of his best performances from that Youtube compilation will start to look familiar. And that’s all you’ll really remember about this film.

And that is exactly what makes this film remarkable. Nicholas Cage’s performance, with his strange wig hair and dark sunglasses and matching mustache, is so over the top you can’t believe it actually made it into the film. What did the director ask him to do? There are times when he stumblingly mumbles over half the lines. Others, he’s had to dub over the original audio because it was so incoherent. Did they allow the great Nic Cage to do what he wanted during this film, most likely drunk and living it up? I hope so.

Everything else about this movie is so basic. Joe Donan (Michael Biehn, the man I will always remember from The Abyss as Lt. Coffey) is a con artist who accidentally shot his dad, Mike Donan (James Coburn) in a con. With his father’s last dying wish, Joe

The legendary Nic Cage.

travels to his father’s brother’s place and finds himself in a whole new world of cons and deceit. Nicholas Cage is actually only in the middle third of the film, but his performance as Eddie is unforgettable.

And would you believe it that there are two other good actors in this film? Leave it to Francis Ford Coppola’s nephew and Nicholas Cage’s brother, Chris Coppola to utilize his connections. There’s Peter Fonda as, get this, Pete. He’s only in it for about two scenes, but he makes more of an impression than a lot of the other actors in this film. And, in my favorite performance of the entire film, is Charlie Sheen. Playing the smooth pool player, Sheen dazzles onscreen with intelligent lines, a cool attitude, and a suave look. He actually plays a realistic looking conman, unlike EVERYONE ELSE. For shame…

That woman was in it, but I didn’t care.

With unremarkable acting from a very minimal script, I’m sure it was hard to ever make this into a B-rated movie. It clings onto a solid C if anything, and wishes it could rise. You know what brings it out of the dregs of all those other movies you were never meant to see? NICHOLAS CAGE. This man is a legend. He can take any average college film and turn it into something you should see before you die. That man is King Midas. This movie became gold when he graced it for 45 minutes. After he leaves the silver screen (if it ever made it to that), it all goes downhill. There’s some creepy German doctor from The Human Centipede with a scissor hand for God sakes! That was less entertaining than one scene of Nic Cage ripping it up. Damn it, all movies need to have Nic Cage in it at all times. He should’ve been the star (no offense, Biehn. Wasn’t your best.)!

So watch this for the Cage. Ignore all else. By all means, stop watching after his unfortunate end. It’ll be worth it. Trust me. Deadfall as a whole, 3.1 out of 10. Nic Cage’s performance? 10 out of 10.

Absolutely wonderful. 10 out of 10 Nic Cage.

 

The Legend of Awesomest Maximus

So I happened to catch this National Lampoon flick on Comedy Central and tuned in and out during the film. I found some parts funny and really wanted to catch the whole, uninterrupted, uncensored movie all at once. And let me just tell you why the idea to watch this C-rated comedy even crossed my mind. Me and my friends are big fans of spoof movies. We are just as big of fans of 300 and Troy. So I had to check this movie out. Why? It combines a plot that makes fun of BOTH.

Now the events are slightly jumbled and there’s not necessarily a dividing line between what parts are making fun of

I gotta say, Orlando was quite the hilarious character in this film.

which movies, but here’s the gist. Awesomest Maximus (Will Sasso, making fun of a bumbling Leonidas from 300) is also a married member of the House of Troy. (A little Troy for you there.) With their incredible strength pitted against the strength of Greece and their King Erotic (Khary Payton, spoofing on Xerces. Little tid bit, Khary Payton does voices and in fact does the voice for Cyborg of Teen Titans.) King Erotic’s best warrior Testiclees (Ian Ziering spoofing on Achilles) in search of fame and glory, battles anyone in his way. And the Troy King’s (Rip Torn) son, Orlando (Gary Lundy spoofing on Paris, played by Orlando Bloom, ironically) is gay.

Workaholics is my shizzzzz.

So what happens? Well, if you’ve seen Troy, then you may know. Awesomest and Orlando travel to Greece to make peace with King Erotic and, in doing so,  Orlando, although gayer than every Broadway musical ever made, steals the King’s wife Hottessa (Kristanna Loken spoofing on Helen), and they escape to Troy. With the ensuing battles and scenes of pure raunchy comedy, elements of Troy, 300, and even Gladiator are interspersed. What’s great about this is that these scenes touch on the funniest and cheesiest parts of Troy and 300 and make quite the mockery of them. I rather enjoyed it and found it to be quite the watch.

There was nothing really remarkable about the movie, because, as expected, it was a low budget

Thank you Will Sasso for a comedic spoof of Gladiator proportions.

nude/sex joke/raunchy romp film. I mean, come on, there are boat scenes with absolutely nothing but the bare minimum and blue painted backgrounds. But that’s not the point of the film. And although this movie may take many parts that were already spoofed in Meet the Spartans, they take a slightly different approach on those scenes. Without the big budget and the ability to show breasts, this movie takes sex jokes to the extreme. Include the Workaholics cast and Tony Cox, the black midget, and you have a comedy spoof worth at least one watch. So check it out. 5.2 out of 10, purely for spoof power.