Priest: Just as Good as Legion

I’d been waiting quite a while to see this movie with my roommate. Ian and I always get that excited feeling around our college finals when its time to take some time off and go catch a flick. And catch a flick we did. One of the best flicks of the year, if I do say so myself. Priest, another incarnation of Paul Bettany portraying the badass side of himself in real life, but in a movie. Like Legion, Paul Bettany’s character descends from his high throne in order to protect those around him. And this is the way that I like to perceive Paul Bettany. A man of the people. And it must be quite true.

Priest, to put it simply, is the story of a priest. But not any ordinary priest. This particular priest is of an order of priests that

Paul Bettany. He messed up that familiar.

was created for one sole purpose. To eradicate vampires. And not your everyday human-turned  vampires. These vampires are creatures, fearful of  light and hungry for human flesh and blood. And they can only be defeated by the light they fear or priests, the greatest super-weapons on the face of the Earth. And the priests have done this. Now in retirement in the “near future,” these priests roam the streets hated by their fellow humans for representing the state of fear they all once held.

But not is all well. The vampires were placed in “camps” in order to repress any more outbreaks. But they have risen in great numbers to attack the humans once again in their high-walled cities. Led by Black Hat (Karl Urban), these creatures will stop at nothing to kill every human on Earth. So, once Priest’s family has been assaulted and his daughter kidnapped, he must pick up his crosses once again in order to protect those he loves. With the help of Hicks (Cam Gigandet), and a fellow Priestess, (Maggie Q) this rag-tag group of vampire hunters must run against the clock in order to save their world. And do they? Well, please watch it and find out.

Nice tatoo.

Well, let me just say 50% of this movie is top-notch actors. Paul Bettany, it goes without saying. His dramatic, A-rated acting never fails to amaze me, despite whatever role he may take on. (Some of my favorites?: Knight’s Tale, Master and Commander, A Beautiful Mind, and, of course, Legion) And, in my opinion, Paul Bettany always gets better. Maggie Q gives a great supporting role as a fellow Priestess. Despite most of her role being focused on action, she brings a

Maggie Q. Always looks good walking away from an explosion.

dramatic/romantic element to the movie. Karl Urban, for the third time in his career, pulls of an action villain worthy of the movie. And Cam Gigandet, well… he’s just doing his own thing. Not anything special. And Brad Dourif (Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings) makes a surprise appearance as a vampire “cure” seller. All-in-all, Paul Bettany carries the acting load in this film.

Nice save. And nice movie.

The director Scott Stewart, is primarily a special effects guy. Other than Priest, he’s done (surprise) Legion. But his special effects really come out in this film. Probably why they released this in 3-D. But I really feel (although I’ve never read the graphic novel) that this movie does the graphic novel justice. Or I would hope that it did. I really thoroughly enjoy films like this, and I feel there will always be people out there like me that enjoy action films with a new twist. And it’s movies like this that really give me hope for a future of movies that don’t necessarily look promising. So thank you Scott Stewart and thank you Min-Woo Hyung, the creator of Priest, for bringing about what I looked forward to for 5 months. 8.6 out of 10.

The Roommate: Crap or Subtle Genius?

No, I’m just kidding. There was no genius to this movie. It was crap. If there was anything good about this, it was that it was so absurd it was funny. But what’s awesome is that it beat James Cameron’s piece of crap Sanctum (3-D, already indication of crap). I strongly dislike James Cameron and I feel the defeat of his work is a step in the right direction for humanity. (Avatar= Pocahontas= Took title from The Last Airbender, completely equaling a cinematic failure.) Anyways, time for the plot summary. And don’t tell me, “NO, NO NO, I DON’T WANT A PLOT SUMMARY, I WANT TO BE SURPRISED.” There’s nothing to ruin here, except your evening if you waste your time seeing this in theaters.

Okay, so obviously, Sara Matthews’ (Minka Kelly) roommate, Rebecca (Leighton Meester) is a psycho. This girl, (big twist) simply doesn’t take her pills. Quite a hilarious part, might I add, filled fantastically by Frances Fisher, one of two Titantic (Damn it, Cameron) actors. The other one, of course, being the homosexually (?) married (?) art design (?) teacher, Billy Zane. I know, no need for the question marks, but just based on his title, his sexual orientation comes into question. True, I love Billy Zane. Come on, he was The Phantom. (Anybody feel me on that?) But more on the minors… never.

This girl Rebecca, Sara’s insane roommate, who, by the way, they never clarify how old they are or which year they are in college. They don’t even hint at it. Come on. Yes, they may go out to a frat house, but who wouldn’t drink while making this movie? I’m sorry, tangents. But yes, this girl does some insane stuff. She draws pictures. She fries kitty cats. She pierces her own ears on the fly. She wears designer clothing. But most importantly, and most endearingly, she cares about when her roommate comes home. Yes, she cares. Maybe too much? You decide. (But DVD time, not theater time.)

Some other notable appearances in this movie come from Cam Gigandet, Twilight movie heartthrob (James) and apparent comedian. As Sara’s boyfriend Stephen, he delivers line after line of comedic genius, as he sits in as the frat band’s “drummer” (very weak). I find that ever since Twilight and his subsequent work, The Unborn, Cam’s gonna be stuck as the horror movie bf for a while. Another newcomer to horror movies is Disney Channel star, Alyson Michalka. Used to her days on Disney as a duo pop sensation with her sis A.J., this horror movie was a real breakout and quite ironic that the tweens that watched her on Disney are now old enough to see her become a slut who takes her top off quite a few times.

So yes, this movie, oddly structured around fashion and trying to psychotically become your roommate’s best friend falls short of expectations. I felt hey, this’ll be another Orphan. Orphan is a great horror movie. This on the other hand, is crap. Complete and utter comedic horror. The whole theater laughed. Besides this angst ridden teen who felt this movies poetic drama would better prepare her for her college years. But yes, I was a bit worried I’d be scared, and when I left, I felt lighthearted and happy. So thank you, Christian E. Christiansen, Denmark movie extraordinaire, you made my weekend. I feel sorry to inform you that your debut in American horror cinema will be received as a joke. I know, you were trying for something new, but I don’t feel that a psychotic phone sex killer who loves her girlies is really gonna do it. I give it 2.2 out of 10. But by all means, if you want to see this for yourself, don’t wait, see this in theaters. Bring the whole family, it’ll be a blast.