Wreck-It Ralph: A Gamer’s Paradise

So here’s an up to date review that’s still relevant. Wreck-It Ralph is a wonderful little Disney film about a wrecking villain named Ralph (John C. Reilly) who does nothing but wreck an apartment building. His counterpart and hero, Fix-It Felix (Jack McBrayer) fixes the crumbling building around him and gets a medal for all the hard work. What people who play the games don’t know is that Ralph is sick of being the bad guy.

This movie, first and foremost, is extremely original. As most of

Support group for the ages.

Disney’s animated projects go, it captures you with vivid images and great fluidity, and keeps you entranced with great cameos and good voice acting. This movie accomplishes all that and one thing more: it makes you extremely nostalgic. Throughout the entire film, everyone in the theater was pointing out to their friends and family who their favorite video game characters were and how cool it was to see them act on their own. Even some parents can get in on the action with Pac-Man and Q*bert.

How’s your blood sugar level?

Coupled to some original and iconic songs, there’s nothing about this movie that didn’t please me. You get all the stereotypical games (strategy Pac-Man style, Street Fighter button mashing, racing, shoot-em-up, and even some other bizarre appearances). There’s something for everyone in this pick-and-mix arcade, run by one of my favorite actors, Ed O’Neil. The only thing I could’ve wished for in this film was more video game characters. Where’s Master Chief? Where’s Ezio Auditore? You gotta at least get Mario. But yes, I sadly understand that all of those licensed characters would’ve cost the movie a fortune. Oh well…

So the plot of the movie is simple. Wreck-It Ralph gets fed up with his bad guy role in his 8-bit video game and goes to explore other games. He stumbles upon the opportunity to win a medal in Heroe’s Duty (big children’s joke) and does so. But his medal gets used by Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman) to enter a race to win back some honor in

Jane Lynch has never looked so sexy.

Sugar Rush the racing game. It’s up to Ralph to make or break the day, and Felix and Sergeant Tamora Jean Calhoun (Jane Lynch) will do anything to get him back. It’s a video game for the ages.

What made this movie so spectacular were all the guest appearances and voice actors that graced the screen. Ever since Tim and Eric, I’ve grown to love John C. Reilly. And it’s nice to see his range as an actor in a kid’s role like this. Sarah Silverman is both cute and verbose as Vinellope, the cute child race car driver. Her poop jokes and tomboyish attitude are much appreciated by me. I’m not usually a fan of Jack McBrayer and his work on 30 Rock, but he was just fine and the perfect voice for Felix in this one. And here’s the big surprise… The Candy King was done by Alan Tudyk! I couldn’t believe my ears! He truly is the master of voices if I ever heard one. First A Knight’s Tale and now this? Wonderful.

How great are those detailed graphics?

Throw in Mindy Kaling of The Office and Joe Lo Truglio, and you have yourself just a sample of what is an entire cast of great voice talent. You also have Roger Craig Smith as the voice of Sonic (and Ezio Auditore of Assassin’s Creed 2), and Kyle Hebert as Ryu of Street Fighter (acclaimed voice actor),  and that’s a great addition. I loved the bad guy support group meeting as well. It’s all good in the hood.

I would recommend, if you have kids, taking them to see Wreck-It Ralph. It’s good for all ages (AKA, anyone who has ever played video games) and you’ll enjoy it too, no matter what your preference. So suit up and grab your controller and lay in to some good old fashioned fun. 8.8 out of 10.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I think it’s important to come back with a bang. More accurately, a Gyllenhaal. In one of the best homages to a video game, this film takes the concept of the Prince of Persia series and takes another element everyone loves. Parkour. Combine a gameplay feel and straight ahead roller-coaster plot and you have yourself the next best thing to The Pirates of the Caribbean. Never mind the

We meet again, Sir Ben.

lackluster acting and portrayal of a country/nationality that doesn’t exist, Jerry Bruckheimer’s name is on this one. And if he did POTC, how could this be bad?

You may sense some sarcasm in the way I wrote that last paragraph. But, in actuality, I didn’t mind Prince of Persia. I had watched my girlfriend play a bit of the games (specifically Sands of Time) and I got a precursor to Assassin’s Creed that was a bit too much of a coincidence. Loving that idea and the inspiration that I’m sure AC drew from Prince of Persia, I was more than happy to sit down and watch the film. And what I got was exactly what I thought I was going to get. An adrenaline ride with pretty graphics and average characters. Think… The Mummy meets Indiana Jones, or something.

Get a load of that chest…

I think that’s what people need to realize when it comes to video game movies or action movies in general. What you expect is what you get. If you think this is gonna be an entertaining movie about a great video game, then you will get that. If you’re thinking Oscar worthy action thriller, you will be sorely disappointed. Please, critics out there, stop classifying all movies in the amazingly stellar films category. It ruins it for all of us with your snarky and harsh reviews, thus making everyone feel they should believe what one person’s opinion says in print. That’s B.S.

So, that straight ahead plot I was talking about. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Dastan, a made up name for the main character of the Prince of Persia series (he is the Prince after all). You wouldn’t be surprised how many times they use the title of the movie in the actual movie. Anyways, Dastan is a street rat (not far off from Aladdin) who is

Jakey’s angry face.

taken into the care of the King (Ronald Pickup) and treated as his son after an act of courage. After years of success and conquest, Dastan and his brothers, Tus (Richard Coyle) and Garsiv (Toby Kebbell) have come again to another city, the city of Alamut, in order to conquer it on what seem legit reasons. Oh, but the plot thickens.

Yeah, Arterton, you should be off camera for this shot…

After capturing the priestess Tahmina (Gemma Arterton) and promising her to Tus, the King and his subjects celebrate a misinformed victory. The King is poisoned by the framed Dastan while the King’s brother Nizam (Ben Kingsley) stares on in horror. He flees with Tahmina and a dagger he won, only to find it has the powers to control time. With such a great power, well, you know the rest. It is up to the banished Prince of Persia to save the ones he loves and stop the destruction of the world. The typical main points in any action film.

Of course, there were the obvious faults in the film. Jake Gyllenhaal is putting on a strange English accent and portraying a tanner race that no longer exists. Everyone speaks in either an English accent or some strange Middle Eastern tinged accent. The one actress in this film is annoying and godawful. What is there to say for action movies like this when one

Parkour to the extreme!

that is a decent video game remake has the worst female presence? Either get a better actress, or realize that most action movie females are there for sex appeal. At least there’s Lara Croft (but those shorts/tight fitting tanktop aren’t really helping…).

But I would say I was surprised that this film didn’t go for the cheesy lines as often or the special effects taking over the action. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it looked like Jake Gyllenhaal did all his own stunts. The parkour was entertaining and the sword fights are what you would expect from a Disney film. If you kick or punch someone, they’re down for the rest of the film. I had just as much fun watching the film as I did joking about it. Bruckheimer must be doing something right to keep my attention for more than 2 hours like he did…

Homage to a dastardly hero.

It was nice to see Tony Kebbell again, although his character was just a gruff and always yelling side character to the main plot. And I don’t know how/why Ben Kingsley does it, but he gets roped into these average films when he’s been Ghandi for crying out loud. Bloodrayne, The Love Guru, and The Last Legion? How does he do it? But seriously, get rid of that female actress. She added nothing to the film, and I didn’t mind the ending they had before the last 20 minutes. Get some of that, Arterton.

Overall, I’m sure, this film isn’t the greatest. It is entertaining though. For those of us out there who find Jake Gyllenhaal to be a hunk, traversing over Agrabah’s rooftops and allowing his flowing mane to pierce the skies, this film was no probelm-o. There’s nothing wrong

Give him a lick, he tastes just like sexy.

with mindlessly being entertained, as long as you are aware that it’s all in good fun. That’s what this movie was. Good fun. For Alfred Molina to show up again after the supposed “disgrace” of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (same year), it takes guts. And I’m sure they all had fun doing it regardless. Gotta say, a lot of those costumes looked ballin’. 6.3 out of 10.