The Ten: Thou Shalt Laugh

David Wain surprises me again and again with his hilarious body of work. And not his actual body, mind you, because it is funny that his balding haircut is as comic as his movies. But The Ten is a comedic movie taking a different angle on the Ten Commandments. With ten short sketches about just what do those commandments mean leaves you understanding just what a modern view of those rules are.

Paul Rudd is the host of this little soiree, sticking his head in and out as he lives beneath the two behemoth tablets. Married to Famke Janssen, Paul struggles with the commandments himself and finds love in Jessica Alba, as his life is turned upside down. Now, I love Paul Rudd. Being the straight man comes off as strange for him sometimes, but 50/50 it works in his comedies. I just love that he has worked so closely with David Wain over the years (Role Models, Wet Hot American Summer, this…) that he has been able to

Paul Rudd, you genius, you.

cultivate comedic characters that are both funny and underhandedly serious at the same time. That’s a balance that’s hard to walk, but Rudd finds a way. He is one of my favorite comedic actors of all time. Thank God (pardon the pun) for The 40 Year Old Virgin.

Some Pinocchio lovin’.

Now some of these stories are hit and miss. Winona Ryder’s scenes with Adam Brody and the ventriloquist dummy are some of the best. It’s nice to see that characters came back in this series. The commandment story with Liev Schreiber in competition with Joe Lo Truglio over MRI machines was hilarious. But not all of them are that good. The goof story and the subsequent ass rape story were a little off base, but I can see where David Wain was coming from. To take a serious situation and make it into something darkly funny is usually key, but it all comes with the territory that you might fudge it up. But it all wraps together nicely with a song and dance with some nude men and Roberta Flack. It was truly killing me softly.

That’s a lot of nude men who like Roberta Flack.

I would say as far as concept, this movie is an interesting one. It hits the points I find interesting. Modern day religion, characters tied into each other’s stories, and a comedic element of seriousness that pushes the story along. It’s not as good as some of David Wain’s other work, but it wasn’t a bad attempt either. It’s worth watching, but if you are offended by animated orgies or sex with dolls, then maybe you should look elsewhere for your comedy. I got a laugh out of it, and you might too. A decent film, The Ten deserves a 6.5 out of TEN.

100 Feet

It’s not every day you see Famke Janssen under house arrest for killing her husband. And it’s not every day that you see a vindictive poltergeist wreaking havoc all over her life for killing him. In this version of what I would consider Jennifer Lopez’s “Enough” gone wrong, Famke Janssen is haunted by her husband she killed in self defense. There are some frightening scenes and I really enjoyed the way that the jumpy scenes are strewn throughout without warning, not just built up until the end. With a minimal cast and quality acting, this was a horror movie that was unfortunate that I hadn’t seen sooner.

Marnie Watson (Janssen) is a newly paroled felon who has just been released from prison and given house arrest in her house. This is the very house that she killed her husband in in self defense. A little twists is that her husband was a police officer, and the partner cop to the man who will stalkingly watch her for the rest of the film, Officer Shanks

Famke Janssen, terrorized all over again.

(Bobby Cannavale). I was semi-impressed with Cannavale’s performance in this film, only because it wasn’t a stretch for him to play a hardened Brooklyn cop. He’s a character actor and it’s all good.

So Famke’s ass gets locked up with a house arrest anklet that only allows her to go within a 100 foot radius in her own house. If she leaves the confines of the house, the alarm will set off and she has only seconds to return to the barrier. This is a problem because parts of her huge and nicely furnished house are off limits to her, including the basement. Plot device, anyone? So Marnie returns to a semi-life of normalcy and goes about buying groceries, cleaning house, ad finding anything she can do to keep busy.

The face of a wife beater…

It’s not any help that the entire neighborhood doesn’t believe that she fought in self defense to save herself. Looked down upon by everyone, only one delivery boy, Joey (Ed Westwick) finds no problem with her. Attempting to be her friend, Marnie copes with a life of solitude. Until her husband starts attacking her from beyond the grave. In a series of scenes that bust up her and her house, Marnie starts reliving all the horrible beatings her husband gave her in life. And this time around, Marnie has had enough of this poltergeist B.S. She’ll fight back at any cost necessary. Without being able to leave her house, this plot restricts her from running away. It’s time to kill again.

I really liked the simplistic plot of this film. It was a creative idea, although I’m not sure they would lock her up in the same house she killed in, as poetically justified it may seem. There are some great haunting scenes in the movie involving a lot of things breaking (including some bones). Ed Westwick plays a reasonably real character in this film, although he’s a straight tool for his work on Gossip Girl. I’d say this is one of his better works. Hauntings and devilish exorcisms and demons are more my style when it comes to horror, so this movie was right up my alley. There’s a great kill scene in the movie, and, although the CG effects in this movie are a bit Syfy channel middle of the road, it doesn’t detract from the whole overall

I know I’ve been stalking you for a while now, but did you know you look like that read headed wench from X-men?

experience of the movie. It’s brutal, and it does the job of performing as a threatening and horrifying film (didn’t scare me much, but all the same, the lights were on).

Most of the time, I’m a tool.

The one thing that will either disappoint you or make you laugh will be the end of the film. There’s some strange confrontation and a ridiculous explosion of an ending that would give Michael Bay a boner. It ruins the whole otherworldly feel of the movie and gives rise to a really dumb explanation of why he’s haunting her and how to stop him. Everything is resolved and, in a really sloppy style for a poltergeist, Shanks believes her and gives her the happy ending she wanted from the beginning. It just really comes down to the sub-par dialogue at the end and that explosion. I can’t get over how that ruined the movie.

But, from beginning to middle, this movie was well executed. It has the right amount of horror and plot, jumpy scenes and furthering events. Famke Janssen did her job (not as Phoenix from X-men, obviously) and gave the woman in peril role new meaning. She fought back with a butch attitude I wasn’t entirely expecting. She doesn’t frighten away like most women do in films and really sticks it to her husband in the film. There’s a real in your face attitude about this horror movie and that made it a breath of fresh air. It’s only the ending that takes down the rating. I’ll give this little horror film a 6.2 out of 10.

Janssen won’t back down easily.