Tokyo Gore Gore and More Gore Police

I think I just appropriately changed the title. Because I was expecting gore, but not the magnitude I was given. I was relentlessly pounded with blood and carnage to such an excessive degree that I was in awe and stitches from all the laughing, at the same

Ah yes, the ever popular school girl…

time. This movie is satirically poking fun at the horror/gore genre, even putting gore in the title. It never takes itself too seriously (although some of the actors onscreen may have to deliver some of their lines with a straight face) and it has all the fun you’d ever want from a fantasy/anime/comedy/horror film (look at all those genres in a line…). I was fascinated and swept away by this Japanese wonder.

For as much of a plot as there is here goes nothing. Ruka (Eihi Shiina) is a member of he futuristic Japanese police force. In a similar situation to RoboCop, the police have been revamped with privatization. This is all in order to defeat

You love to see the woman from Audition in some hand rain… (That’s what it was tagged as…)

anime-like creature villains known as Engineers. Created by an evil mad scientist (Itsuji Itao), these Engineers have key-like tumors placed into their bodies (like a macabre Kingdom Hearts) that allow them to regrow injuries into gory and grotesque weapons. Ruka is a special member of the task force that is sent out to handle these demons with her always trusty katana. What a relief that swords are more effective against evil in the future than guns are…

After discovering an evil plot and a hidden past, Ruka must embrace who she is and destroy everyone in her path. This leads to a whole lotta ridiculous gore (basically things you can’t do to or with the

Slugma woman!

human body) and some of the funniest dismemberment scenes I’ve ever witnessed in a film. I was loving it and never wanting the blood spurts and cut in half bodies to stop (that’s a classic M for Mature anime scene for ya). This movie makes no real attempts to take itself seriously, and I was happy to see that. When you watch the scene in the Engineer bordello, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Just all that gore…

This film is also interspersed with dark infomercials that pop up on the T.V.’s throughout the film. There’s proper swords for Hara-kiri (Japanese ritualistic suicide), mini-kawaii boxcutters for wristcutting (Kawaii meaning cute), and a whole lot of anti-suicide ads. I’m not sure what some of them were for, but maybe it just meant that suicide or mutilation leads to the creation of more Engineers? Strange…

This movie literally has some of the most messed up gore I’ve ever seen. Entering into a reality of warped body image, this movie can do what it wants. Anybody who is an Engineer can recreate themselves into a warped version of themselves with weapons of personality attached to themselves. A venus flytrap for legs, a

There’s no end to the weird.

katana arm, chainsaw on a chain… and my favorite I can’t mention that you’ll have to see to believe. I said before that A Serbian Film left me in awe and despair. This film had the same amount of disturbing scenes, but it was all done with a smile on its face. I like this one far better.

Yay!

Everything is over the top and there’s far more blood than you’d actually think can be in one human body. It’s all tongue in cheek with unrealistic corpses and bottles that can take your whole face off. This movie can’t even go a whole 5 minutes without another dismemberment. I loved every minute of it. It is truly one of those cult classics that ranks up there with Evil Dead in the way it’s presented. So if you like horror/gore movies like that, you have to see this. A big word up for Tokyo Gore Police. 9.1 out of 10.

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood

In continuation of the Ezio Arc of the Assassin’s Creed series, Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood: is a slight continuation of the events of Assassin’s Creed 2. In considering this a half-stop between AC 2 and AC 3, this game delivers a whole new amount of gameplay almost identical to AC 2. Taking place entirely in Rome, Ezio climbs and leaps from the historic buildings of Rome and the surrounding countryside. You can rebuild Rome from the tyrannical rule of the Borgia family and attempt to take back what rightfully belongs to the people. In the vein of a Robin Hood story, you use the money from the government to buy the tools you need to take back Rome. The fight is on.

What lacks in this game in comparison to Assassin’s Creed 2 is the slow moving plot. The second game moves so fast with Ezio’s plot and how he becomes an Assassin, it leaves little to be done in the second. It’s all about the revenge story in this one. The Borgias have remained in power by Ezio’s inability to finish the job and he’s paying for it now. With the help of the Assassin’s Guild and a new feature which allows you to send and use Assassin’s to do your

Just a bit of the historic gold.

bidding, its up to Ezio Auditore and crew to save Rome.

This gameplay is identical to the gameplay in Assassin’s Creed 2. There are a couple of exceptions. The free running is a bit more advanced with some better gloves for climbing and some more advanced moves in traveling through the extra areas in order to collect the armor of Romulus. The synchronization experience in the game is a bit frustrating with having to attempt to achieve 100% with every mission. A lot more of the missions in this game dealt with not being detected, a fact which frustrated me to no end. If the job is achieved, I would like it to be up to me how it is done. If I want to kill everyone and then deal with the target, what’s wrong with that?

Abe Lincoln joke anyone? Maybe an Assassin from the Guild killed him too… In AC 5…

Anyways, the rest of the game is just as fun as the second game. The Subject 16 missions are just as fun and challenging as the first, indicting the entirety of the world’s powers in what appears to be a power grab by the Templars that control the world. The artwork and historic building information makes me feel smarter while I’m playing a video game. I love games like this with basis in history that allow you to function as a badass Indiana Jones and solve the mysteries behind some of the world’s biggest marvels. With art, weaponry, and Leonardo Da Vinci’s weaponry, history becomes kick ass.

The voice acting is phenomenal as usual in this game. The workers at Ubisoft have their shit on lock with the amazing cast they get to pull of the Italian tinted accents of all the characters in the game. The emotions and actions of the characters are appropriate and, unlike many other video games, the characters are realistic for the subject matter of the game. And, for once, this game has a main character who is above the age of 25. In his mid 30’s, Ezio can still kick as much ass, but the fatigue actually wears on him. The same goes for 50 year old Ezio in Revelations. Let’s talk about character development and just how well this game pulls that off.

Ah yes, the Borgias… and notice the crossbow I forgot to mention.

The Brotherhood has arrived.

With all these elements in my all time favorite game series, Assassin’s Creed is one of the most well thought out games of all time. The creators in every country behind the games come together under different ethnicities and creeds to create a masterpiece of a game. They bring the accuracy of different religions and histories in order to be as accurate as possible. And thinking about the fact that these characters are based on real historical figures is just the icing on the cake. So hunker down and get into Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, its a perfect slow down point in the game that allows you to seep in the glory that is Ezio and the Assassins.