Tag Archives: Gladiator

The Legend of Awesomest Maximus

So I happened to catch this National Lampoon flick on Comedy Central and tuned in and out during the film. I found some parts funny and really wanted to catch the whole, uninterrupted, uncensored movie all at once. And let me just tell you why the idea to watch this C-rated comedy even crossed my mind. Me and my friends are big fans of spoof movies. We are just as big of fans of 300 and Troy. So I had to check this movie out. Why? It combines a plot that makes fun of BOTH.

Now the events are slightly jumbled and there’s not necessarily a dividing line between what parts are making fun of

I gotta say, Orlando was quite the hilarious character in this film.

which movies, but here’s the gist. Awesomest Maximus (Will Sasso, making fun of a bumbling Leonidas from 300) is also a married member of the House of Troy. (A little Troy for you there.) With their incredible strength pitted against the strength of Greece and their King Erotic (Khary Payton, spoofing on Xerces. Little tid bit, Khary Payton does voices and in fact does the voice for Cyborg of Teen Titans.) King Erotic’s best warrior Testiclees (Ian Ziering spoofing on Achilles) in search of fame and glory, battles anyone in his way. And the Troy King’s (Rip Torn) son, Orlando (Gary Lundy spoofing on Paris, played by Orlando Bloom, ironically) is gay.

Workaholics is my shizzzzz.

So what happens? Well, if you’ve seen Troy, then you may know. Awesomest and Orlando travel to Greece to make peace with King Erotic and, in doing so, ¬†Orlando, although gayer than every Broadway musical ever made, steals the King’s wife Hottessa (Kristanna Loken spoofing on Helen), and they escape to Troy. With the ensuing battles and scenes of pure raunchy comedy, elements of Troy, 300, and even Gladiator are interspersed. What’s great about this is that these scenes touch on the funniest and cheesiest parts of Troy and 300 and make quite the mockery of them. I rather enjoyed it and found it to be quite the watch.

There was nothing really remarkable about the movie, because, as expected, it was a low budget

Thank you Will Sasso for a comedic spoof of Gladiator proportions.

nude/sex joke/raunchy romp film. I mean, come on, there are boat scenes with absolutely nothing but the bare minimum and blue painted backgrounds. But that’s not the point of the film. And although this movie may take many parts that were already spoofed in Meet the Spartans, they take a slightly different approach on those scenes. Without the big budget and the ability to show breasts, this movie takes sex jokes to the extreme. Include the Workaholics cast and Tony Cox, the black midget, and you have a comedy spoof worth at least one watch. So check it out. 5.2 out of 10, purely for spoof power.

 

Advertisements

Centurion: “I will not yield!”

Neil Marshall has done it again! As the director of one of my favorite horror movies, The Descent, I had to check out this director’s 5th attempt at directing. After taking a peek on IMDB at Marshall’s other directing attempts, I saw another two movies I found were right up Marshall’s alley when it comes to genre and style, Doomsday and Dog Soldiers. The movie posters alone look like movies I would gladly see. (I had heard of Doomsday before, it’s shown a lot on FX, definitely going to check it out now.) This movie doesn’t disappoint and it gives one of those quick in and out glimpses into the world of the Romans during a time of war. If I had to say it, which I will (I mean come on, there are 2 actors in this movie who were major players in 300) this movie is on some sort of level with Gerard Butler and his 300.

But what I liked about it? It wasn’t Gerard Butler. Come on, you have to give it up for how creatively mind bending 300 was. I love Zack Snyder. Plain and simple. 300 brought a new meal to the table. But yeah, this movie wasn’t quite 300 at all. It was almost a 300 meets Gladiator fusion. Quite spectacular. Instead of Butler, we have one of the new and upcoming British actors, Michael Fassbender. This guy is putting in the work and getting

Michael Fassbender

great results (and I’m not talking about his abs in 300). He’s done quite a few British T.V. shows and made his big break with 300. (He was that guy that cut off the emissary’s arm and told that fool they would fight in the shade.) Inglorious Basterds (I’ll give it to you Tarantino, this one time…) and Jane Eyre, this guy has range. And most excitingly, he will be playing Magneto in this summers sure to be masterful hit, X-Men: First Class. I expect good things from this guy.

Other notable appearances in this film? Dominic West, of course. Another 300 familiar, this guy was the traitor. But still, he was great. I loved his alter ego in Meet the Spartans, Traitoro. Dominic West has done some good work

Ah, Traitoro

as well, and I feel that as a fellow British actor to Michael Fassbender, he will go great things one day. He’s done wonderful things on The Wire, and he did one of my favorite guest appearances in my favorite part of the Hannibal Lecter series, Hannibal Rising as Inspector Popil. He has quite the list (Palace Guard in Phantom Menace???) and should keep strong for years to come.

Also, what I like about movies like this? Neil Marshall can get together a rag-tag group of virtually not well known actors, and still make a badass film. Noel Clarke (one of the Doctor’s helpers on Dr. Who) plays Macros, the slave turned athlete who really just runs the entire movie. JJ Feild (recurring British T.V. period piece actor) as Thax, one of my favorite characters in this film. David Morrissey (character actor who seems to switch between

A rag-tag, cantankerous crew

American and British film) as Bothos, the slightly obese centurion who’s that one loyal friend, but not that ridiculous. I mean, the list goes on. But that’s what really appealed to me about The Descent. It brought together a handful of unknown actresses and turned out to be a really well made film.

Complaints. Okay, there are quite a few archers in this film. And you know what happens? Everyone of them can aim for someone’s head and hit them directly, no hesitation, no mercy. This is a bit ridiculous. I find it hard to believe that every archer in this film is Robin Hood. But to each his own. It still made for pretty amazing gore throughout the film that was just nonstop. One whole scene about 20 minutes in is just literally unheard of. Another thing, I have never heard the “f” word so much in a period piece film like this. It is out of place. Distasteful right there.

Everything else about this movie? Great. It had great cinematography and looked like it took cues from The Lord of the Rings in its overhead helicopter shots of men dashing across snowy mountains. (Pretty sure this was shot in New Zealand.) The locales were quite spectacular although you couldn’t really place what was going on. If I related it in plot to any movie, it would’ve definitely been a mirror image of The Descent. Actually, the more I think about it, it’s like a cookie cutter version of The Descent, just different time and characters. Wow. If Neil Marshall does this again though, I might not be so forgiving. You can’t hope to make 3 identical plot movies and think people won’t notice. But taking Centurion as its own tour de force of mayhem and devastation in the time of the legion and Rome, it really does not yield. 7.7 out of 10.