I don’t know how much I’m gonna be able to say about this movie without just shitting all over it. This movie, in one and only one sense, is bad. Look, I’m as big of a Kevin Sorbo fan as the next guy (Hercules 2016), but this movie didn’t have enough of that sword wielding hunk. Sure, he can make fun of himself, but there wasn’t enough of him to make fun of.
So there are these three hook- I mean… women. Trixie (Julia Voth) is a stripper, somehow dragged into the events of the two other con
artist/undercover femme fatales. Hel (Erin Cummings), called this name for her flamboyantly red hair I guess, is the head of the operation, meanwhile Camero (America Olivo) is a hotheaded gun pusher that bends to her lesbian will. (Every woman in this movie is a lesbian of some sort. The odds, right?)
The whole plot of this movie takes place in a desert next to a trailer of some guy who the girls shoot in order to find information but
obviously hotheaded Camero can’t handle her itchy trigger finger. Too bad Gage (Michael Hurst; this guy played Hercules almost more than Kevin Sorbo…). With in-party fighting and an unnecessary water fight scene with slathered boobage, this movie takes the 1960’s and 70’s sexploitation films to a whole new level. To the point where not even the plot matters, the acting is terrible, and the story is nonsensical.
For the record, I hated the flashbacks throughout the movie that explained what they were doing here. There was no need for that explanation, let alone a twist based on the love relationships of the three women with each other. There is a 7 or 8 minute long lesbian make-out scene in this movie. No joke. Sure, I’m a guy and what guy doesn’t want to see that every once in a while in a film… but I grew bored. Really bored. I’m surprised I didn’t just turn the movie off. Thanks for instant streaming at my fingertips, Netflix.
With no budget and just a bunch of slutty bitch-slapped biatches, Kevin Sorbo literally is the standout in this movie. The
side characters had more depth and a more interesting look than the main skanks. And I’m not using these words to degrade women. This is literally the dialogue I heard throughout the movie, drivel that entered my ear holes for some reason and stuck there and won’t seem to eek out. But I’m looking at you, William Gregory Lee as Hot
Wire and Minae Noji as Kinki. You should’ve just killed them execution style and stolen the movie. Much better.
So I was bored to tears and embarassed for an over-embellished parody of the exploitation films of a yesteryear. The movie doesn’t take itself seriously, and I wouldn’t wish watching this movie on anyone else. I was expecting Grindhouse quality. I didn’t realize I would get softcore bore. Oh well, lesson learned. 2.3 out of 10, purely for pretty women.