Tag Archives: Kira

The Gravedancers: Oh Boy Sid…

Unrest in peace my ass...

Selected as one of the “8 Films to Die for” in 2006, The Gravedancers attempts to legitimize itself by considering whatever made it scary in its straight to DVD release as a big deal. What was most frightening about this movie was Marcus Thomas’s acting. Playing Sid Vance, this man’s career should’ve been torched just like his unfortunate ass did in this movie. After witnessing a garishly hilarious trailer on a DVD of other Afterdark horror movies, I just had to get my hands on this one. My friends and I are always up for a good laugh, and I wanted to see if this movie found itself to be a contender.

Let me explain the plot of this movie and what happens as exactly why this movie made me use the phrase “Oh boy, Sid…”

So the movie starts in, hard and fast with this woman getting

We got a little Alicia Keys here..

raped or something. Nobody is there, its starting to look like Final Destination already. I love it in movies when the forces of gravity work against you for no reason! This young tramp gets hanged and her suicide letter, gothically wrapped, drops out of her hand.

Fast forward to a few years afterwards. There are these three friends, Harris (Dominic Purcell), Kira (Josie Maran), and Sid (Marcus Thomas). Their other friend… can’t remember his name, died. Don’t explain why, my best guess? Drunk driving, slammed a pole. I mean, in the next scene,

What's goin' down, Dominic?

all you get from this group of friends is that all three of them drink excessively and go out hard doing strange things. Kira and Harris get frisky and Dominic Purcell is too much of a baller from Prison Break to care. I lost respect for this English actor today, never having really seen him in anything.

So they all get frisky and decide to go break into the cemetery where their friend is buried. First problem. This is a friend group with one girl and three guys. A bit strange even in college, and I would’ve loved to see how they

You feelin' like some crunk dancing right here?

incorporated a skank of Kira’s magnitude into the Bro-Circle. I guess it was fitting that some deranged old Father McCready rapist/killer was the grave she danced on… Second problem. They all go dance on graves and decide it would be best to recite an incantation in a black envelope. And whose supreme fault is all this? Sid’s. It will always and forever be Sid’s dumbass fault that anything would ever happen to this group of players.

Your part is unimportant.

Then strange things start happening. And it even affects Harris’s wife, Allison (Clare Kramer). Why, you may ask? Who knows, but she for sure didn’t dance some old mamba over any stiffs. But the cat gets freaked and some old decrepit woman is sleeping up in her bed, making all sorts of moaning noises, trying to make everything look bad for old Harris. And she gets the worst of it. Jesus, that’s messed up. Then Kira gets schank destroyed and bitten?!?! Oh well, she got the worst out of all of them.

Sid’s little meister of destruction lights real fires in his room (not spectral fires Vincent, whatever the Hell that means…) and nobody can seem to figure out

What's good, Velma Culpepper?

what actions could have caused this. At least Sid had the good sense to hire some paranormal investigators. Vincent (Tcheky Karyo) and Culpepper (Megahn Perry) as I like to call her. Or, respectively, the man with the military grade Humvee that he uses for pleasure and Velma from Scooby Doo. These two straight Inspector Gadgets play the haunting by the rules and figure out that the graves they danced on, belonged to felons.

This can't be considered scary, can it? Who dies and looks like that?

BIG PROBLEM RIGHT THERE. When has anyone (and I’m sure this may be true) ever heard of a section of a cemetary devoted to undesirables? In a surburban area where it doesn’t seem to have any history? They just line up three unrelated individual dead parole walkers right next to each other without even considering putting them next to their families? At least the young boy for God sakes…

So, as everyone knows, you gotta go dig up the body of the person who is haunting you and bury that shit in a shallow grave. Every piece mind you. So they go do that, they all get choked out by their stalkers and they resort to plan C. Let’s all hole up in Vincent’s great big mansion that looks straight out of The House on Haunted Hill and hope we’ll survive until the morning. Because everyone knows that ghosts ebb and flow with the tides and their powers. And that every villainous ghost wears a big old mask with a big old plastic grin on it. Axe murderer, rapist, and a kid who bursts into flame. Let those games begin.

Calm down Allison... You'll live.

Some crazy shit happens and the military humvee saves the day. Smashing walls, setting Sid on fire, it’s all that I’ve ever wanted in a movie. Throw me some more of those jealous cat fights and overdramatic acting. Deliver some more bad lines Sid, I dare you. But it doesn’t change the fact that movies like this are enjoyable. It had a few jumpy moments and some “Oh no they didn’t…” moments. And, if only if only it considered itself a horror comedy, I would’ve truly understood. Anddd… screw that strange old cemetery foreman at the end. His point is pointless. As was most of this movie. Here you go Gravedancers. 3.8 out of 10. If only for the comedy…

Deal with this right here.


Death Note: Simply Amazing

So this is one of the best anime I’ve watched. Ever. I mean hands down ever. I think this should be a mandatory requirement for all anime fans to watch. In one sitting. I had to load episodes from the internet, but I loaded them 1o at a time and would site for 3 hours watching al 10. This show blew my mind. It has the most intricate plot with twists and turns. It’s one of those pieces of art that you watch and you have to choose a side. (Clearly there’s only one side to choose in this anime.) But it’s harder than that. It’s about morality.

Light vs. L. Who will win?

Ethics. The worth/cost of a life. And whether or not it is just to take a life in the pursuit of justice and goodness. And if humankind can itself be gods.

So this anime is about Light Yagami (Brad Swaile). One day this 17 year old student, top of his class, suave, genius prodigy finds this notebook. And in it are instructions. If a name is written in this book with the persons face in mind, that person will die of a heart attack in 40 seconds. If a cause of death is established in those 40 seconds and the

Light Yagami. God of the New World.

details written in 6 minutes and 40 seconds, then the person will die that way if the means of that death can be accomplished. This is basically disregarded by Light as some ridiculous joke. Until he tries it. Then Light is thrust into a world of possibilities no one before could possibly imagine. And, using this Death Note, Light will become the God of the New World.

There is some baggage that comes with the Death Note. A Death Note can only be found by a human on Earth if it is dropped by a Shinigami. These quite strange, queer, funny creatures come from “limbo” as best I can figure. Their world is dissolving and Ryuuke

Ryuuke. He likes apples.

(Brian Drummond) has grown tired of the days of gambling bones and sleeping. He hungers for intrigue and excitement, and nobody better than Light can give that to him. Light’s attitude towards the power to kill brings surprising results. Light only kills criminals. Ryuuke follows him around, unseen by humans other than Light, for only humans who have touched the notebook can see Shinigamis. And it is Ryuuke’s duty to remain on earth with Light until it is his time to leave Light upon his death.

And from there the show picks up. Light soon becomes Kira (the Japanese pronunciation of Killer. Stereotypical right?) and creates a following. But the justice system won’t stand for that shit. They’re gonna put a stop to him right? So L(Alessandro Juliani), the greatest investigator/crime solver in the world, better than the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew combined, will do just that. And the chase begins. From here, the twists and mind games that’re played throughout the show display the amazing mind behind Tsugumi Ohba, creator of the manga.

I love Light Yagami. Thank you Brad Swaile.

Let me just say that my explanation/review of this anime comes nowhere near doing it justice. Although this anime was picked up by a Canadian company for dubbing, this doesn’t detract from the quality. Canadian voice actors are just as good as American voice actors. Case in point: Light Yagami’s voice actor, Brad Swaile. This guy must rock the mike when he’s recording. His manical laughs, his brilliantly intelligent air about him, it all fits the character. To a tee. Forget watching the subbed version, this guy brings this show home himself. Also of notable mention is Alessandro Juliani, the voice of L. Although his noises when interacting with food may seem off-putting, it enhances the strangeness that is L. L’s character is quirky and cold, intelligent and funny, but, to me, altogether annoying. And that’s why I chose the side of Light. Okay, not just because of the voice acting. To put my own opinion out there, Light’s sense of justice and genius mind are completely superior to L. In every way. Besides that, yes, L is respectable. But altogether inferior. But that’s where the dichotomy of the show comes from. And that’s why I enjoy the battle of the minds so much.

Also of notable mention in the voice acting department is Brian Drummond, ┬áthe voice of Ryuuke. All these Shinigami have sort of a grating, holier than thou, tone of voice to them and Ryuuke is no exception. Although he may play the part of jester, Brian Drummond brings an almost threatening aura to Ryuuke that makes him seem capable of anything being a God of Death. Chris Britton also gives a great performance as Soichiro Yagami, Light’s father. (I’m not gonna go into details about him, you must watch!) The grave, business air of Soichiro is what gives a respectable dignity to himself. Chris Britton’s caring and

Soichiro Yagami. Badass Dad.

intelligent voice lends itself to the character and really helps to envision a father worried for his family. Vincent Tong gets my honorable mention as Touta Matsuda, the goofy, caring, blundering police investigator of the Kira case. (This is inevitably what develops from Light’s mass killings of criminals.) He cares about the case, but he’s young at heart and this comes through strong and clear from Vincent Tong’s performance, making him an endearing character.

Teru Mikami. You'll see...

Another boss character from Death Note with a great voice actor is Kirby Morrow as Teru Mikami. (Now I can’t go into detail about this character, but look out for him!) Kirby does a great job of a devotional character willing to do whatever it takes for justice. Take that explanation as you like it. This show’s also great because there’s a culture crossover with Americans involved as well. And this shows itself in Raye Penber, voiced by Michael Adamhwaite. Adamthwaite (although a minor character) gives a great performance being an English speaking actor doing a English speaking character (not having watched the subbed, I don’t know exactly how this crossover works) and is quite the interesting character with a humble background.

But enough about voice actors. I could go on for far too long. The art is great too. It’s subtle dark colors mixed with flickering lights and dark corners gives it that seedy underbelly, nobody is who they say they are, investigation feel. This show is dark. I mean, come on, it’s about death. Characters are messed up in this show. But it’s all about the intelligence, it’s about the wording, and, most importantly, it’s all

Oh, did I mention there are live action movies?

about the deductions. The Shinigami, although otherworldly, become believable in this setting that seems it could never happen. I was never surprised or in disbelief by this anime, because it makes the impossible, possible. And that’s where the magic comes from.

So watch this show. Please check it out. It’s well worth its weight in gold. This show sets the bar unbelievably high for anime, and I think could make the jump into pop culture. Or, I wish it would. Love it, love it, love it. 11 out of 10. (Because I can.)

Oh, and this anime has one amazing intro. Check it (if you’re a metal fan).