The Sitter: The Fat Before the Form

Okay, so by the title you might have noticed I’m gonna focus a lot on Jonah Hill in this review. The movie is basically about him right? But unlike the woefully misinformed Rotten Tomatoes that thinks that “groundbreaking originality” is the only thing that gets a high rating (along with “the reviews” it claims), I actually kinda liked this movie. Who says that sticking to a plot device that works so well with all those other movies

Close dat mouth, tubby.

(Superbad, Knocked Up, any sort of out on the town trouble film with hijinks) is all that bad? Sure it may not be “fresh” (what the hell does fresh have to do with movies anyways?), but it sure made me laugh, the whole point of comedies, remember?

So what clicked so well with me in this movie? This is the first film where Jonah Hill gets to stand alone. No Michael Cera, no Judd Apatow cast, it’s all him. And to see a sidekick comedian like Hill perform wellis a breath of fresh air. I admit it, Superbad was a flop of a film for me, couldn’t get into it. Ever since then, sorely disappointed with Judd Apatow & gang.

Never made Minivans look so ballin’.

(And that’s from someone who considers The 40 Year Old Virgin his favorite comedy, followed closely by any Jim Carrey film.) And why did I find Jonah Hill so funny now instead of all those other times?

He embraced his inner Farley. Plain and simple.

From the first time he gets sprayed in the mouth with perfume, to getting laid out by a black chick, he kept me laughing with never-gets-old slapstick. Something you don’t see in these gross-out, absurdist films these days. He went off the rails a little bit and he looked mighty comfortable in the role he was in. I know now he’s lost weight, but he was going after it as the fat man falling through quite a bit of this movie. And still gets the chick.

So let’s back this bitch up a bit and go back to the plot. Noah (Jonah Hill; I’ve always wanted to call him that for some

Gotta be jive to stay alive (one of my favorite scenes).

reason…) is a couch potato pansy that got kicked out of college. He doesn’t do anything with his life and disappoints everyone around him. He’s capable, he just doesn’t apply himself (sounds like myself…). His dad left his mom and him for a babysitter, and he has always had an attitude since then. But it’s all going to have to change if he’s going to cover this babysitting job his mom needs him to take.

The after lights out night life.

So after meeting all the tikes, Noah gets a call from his “girlfriend” asking him to buy some blow and head on over for some sex, the first time in his life (I think…). Without thinking, Noah heads out in the baller ass mini van and hauls it all over to Craig (Sam Rockwell) in order to get the goods. What happens in the course of that ride is what makes for some pretty sticky situations. Formulaic, they may be, but decently funny all the same.

This is one of those movies that I haven’t seen since Role Models that actually had good child actors. (Ronny will never be beaten though.) Slater is played by Max Records (ironic name, no?), the kid people may remember from Where The Wild Things Are. His panic attack of a character isn’t all that funny, but more of the straight man in the group (oh the

Kaah-Kaah!

puns…). Kevin Hernandez, a kid I’ve never seen before, plays Rodrigo, the bad boy in pajamas and cowboy boots. In some strange manner, he plays the Latino stereotype everyone is afraid of, or something… I wasn’t sure. And rounding out the group was Landry Bender as Blithe, the celebrity-slut in the making. She was adorable, and, like Ronny, said some things kids basically learn from rap music. Sad.

Throw in a hilariously psycho performance from Sam Rockwell and you have a well rounded out cast. All you gotta do is add the mass amounts of African American kids that Noah went to school with and you paint a picture of an unnamed town with a nice suburban feel and

Taking him back to El Salvador, eh Jonah?

a threateningly urban vibe. Because what film would there be if Noah didn’t run into some major problems with the homies? Oh, and a bat mitzfah (did I get that right? That’s the female one… right?).

So with all the language and kids there to hear it, Jonah Hill brings this movie above decent for me to a pretty damn funny level. All the parts I saw in the trailer made me laugh just as much in the movie, and there were some great surprisingly funny scenes thrown in there as well. If you like Jonah Hill or just a decent film to laugh at, this movie should probably be on your short list of recent films to catch. I enjoyed the 90 minute semi-gut buster, and maybe you will too. 7.5 out of 10.

 

Hellraiser IV: Bloodline

As you are introduced to a strangely shaped spaceship in the middle of outer space in the year 2127, do not be alarmed. Don’t even let that pesky roman numeral four fool you in the title. This is not Star Wars. This is Hellraiser 4: Bloodline. This movie goes in a significantly different direction than the previous three in a lot of ways. New characters, an origin/background plot, and a director who didn’t even want to be given credit for the movie. You read that right. Kevin Yagher, the director of the film who left before it was finished decided to use the Hollywood pseudonym, Alan Smithee.

Does that suggest that this movie is bad? It may or may not. Although it got mixed reviews, there are some positives. I’m a sucker for an origins episode of a show or movie, and this is one entire, long flashback. And then a flash forward. The reason Mr. Yagher left this movie is because of the conflicts with script/plot and an unnecessary push for Pinhead to appear way before it was ever

The faceoff: Paul vs Pinhead

necessary. I would tend to agree with this approach, because most of the movie fell flat for me. How was this the first movie with a theatrical release?

Let’s get down to the bare bones plot with this one. So in the year 2127, there’s this famously brilliant scientist named Paul Merchant (faint echoes of Paul Muad’ib?) who is holding up on this space station he created. Seeming to be a bad thing, a crackpot squad of mercenaries travel to the station in order to thwart his “dastardly plan”. Merchant (Bruce Ramsay) is easily apprehended, and he tells a squad mate, Rimmer (Christine Harnos) his entire lineage sob story.

Rimmer gets told a sob story...

This is the point in the movie where things get interesting. Philip L’Merchant (still Bruce Ramsay) is a French toymaker, credited with creating the first box, the Lament Configuration. In creating it for a French nobleman obsessed with dark magic, Duc de L’Isle (Mickey Cottrell) unleashes Hell. Literally. In the form of a demon named Angelique (Valentina Vargas), it is up to the cursed Merchant line in order to create the Elysium Configuration in order to stop Pinhead and the other demons from wreaking havoc.

And, in this way, we are given three sections of the lineage of the Merchants. There’s its origins with L’Merchant, there’s the modern day, 1980’s John

This is the...dumbest of the Cenobite creations.

Merchant, and the futuristic, about to end all this B.S. Paul Merchant. At the same time that having all the Merchants being played by one man was a strange thing, it also strangely works. Bruce Ramsay isn’t the best by any means, but, for this movie, he gets the job done. He does vary his acting personalities and gets across that he is playing three different men throughout the years. I wanna point a little interesting fact out right here. Adam Scott, co-star in such acclaimed movies as Knocked Up, Step Brothers, and Piranha 3-D, makes an appearance as Jacques, the man who betrays his master like a coward. Of course you bring Doug Bradley back as Pinhead because, come on, it wouldn’t be a Hellraiser movie otherwise.

That crazy old Duc...

With less grit and graphic imagery than originally intended, this movie sits solidly among the others, but more as a distant cousin than anything else. This movie suggests a fixed point ending to Pinhead and the Cenobites, unlike any other movie. These undead, Hellish beings should never be killed, and it should be up to the perpetuation of this fantastic series to do so. There has been a new one released recently, Hellraiser: Revelations in 2011, which shows the series isn’t gonna quit yet. And I’m all cool with that. So look forward to a review of Hellraiser 5 in the near future, I’m really looking forward to it myself. An okay 4.2 out of 10.

50/50: Was Better Than 50/50

To keep things simple, this movie surpised me as a darker true drama comedy. I wasn’t sure about 50/50 going in, and I was surprised that I liked it more than 50/50 percent. I hadn’t seen any trailers, but knew I was going to see it based on my mom’s need to see it. That’s solely because Josephy Gordon-Levitt was meant to be play by fellow boss actor, James McAvoy. But, all the same, it was a moving film about cancer that I’d never really seen before. It was edgy with just the right amount of humor (AKA Hall scene, when you see it, you’ll know.) and just enough human connection. Although I thought it was going to be a comedy, I was pleasantly surprised to the contrary.

This is a true story (about one of Seth Rogen’s friends, I think) who was diagnosed with cancer in his late twenties. With seemingly nothing wrong in his life, Adam (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is a radio producer in his prime with a

Gordon-Levitt coming to terms with cancer.

loving girlfriend, Rachael (Bryce Dallas Howard). His best friend Kyle (Seth Rogen) is a bit of a dick, but he really sticks by Adam. Include a neurotic, worrying mother (Anjelica Huston) and you’ve got the heartbreakingly bittersweet journey of one man’s back cancer.

There were lots of things I loved about this movie. First off, Adam and Rachael’s relationship. Adam, for lack of a better word, is spineless (and that’s a pun). He doesn’t assert himself anywhere in life, and you feel that would set up for his last run at life full force with his knowledge of cancer. But that’s not what happens at all. At least, not until the threat of

This scene was amazing because it was real.

death towards the very end. I have to say, the entire ending is one gigantic emotional scene. I’m pretty sure everyone shed at least one tear in that theater. Anyways, Rachael is an artist, and she has all of these “expos” and “galleries” all the time that gives her not much time for Adam, although she promises to stay by his side and help him through his disease. Fat lot of good that does.

Adam’s relationship with his parents is something I would have liked to see a lot more of. Adam’s father has Alzheimers and hasn’t remembered his son for quite some time. His mother has both her father and her estranged son to dole on, but never is really give the chance to help and care for them. Adam’s friendship with Kyle (AKA, Seth Rogen in every movie) is something that isn’t worthwhile until the end of the film. In a Knocked Up/40 Year Old Virgin mash-up, Seth Rogen drinks and smokes as he does in every movie and tries to get laid. He’s skinnier now, but it’s still sad. If this is how he truly acted around his real friend with cancer, I will now shudder with the thought.

Anna Kendrick. Yes.

Add also into the mix, Anna Kendrick. Current Twilight understudy, like many of the other Twilighters, she has broken away from the stereotypical marble mold and been given a chance for bigger and better works. I would say this is one of them. Playing an awkwardly naive therapist, Katherine attempts to help Adam come to terms with the idea of dying, although his chances are 50/50.

There are some eye opening scenes and experiences in this movie that I never really knew about. Chemotherapy and its aftermath looks horrendous and tragic. The diminishment of life that is experienced while just going through treatment is completely harrowing. The toll that cancer can play on not just the life of the person, but the life of everyone the person knows, is beyond comprehension. All of this issues come to a beautiful story about Adam that I would love to give credit to director Johnathan Levine and writer Will Reiser. With a great cast (besides Seth Rogen for the most part, but, if Seth Rogen is playing Seth Rogen, then it’s all good) and a fantastic delivery, this movie is worth a watch or two for a good life perspective switch. 9.3 out of 10.

Just overall fantastic.