Leprechaun 5: In The Hood

I’m about to possibly sound racist from the very beginning of this blog post, but I found Leprechaun 5: In the Hood to be hilarious. I know its marketed as a horror comedy, but they should have more clearly defined it as a black horror comedy for black people. Or maybe more to the point that its a comedy that sensationalizes the thug life of black people in the 90’s. I really don’t know how to classify this movie myself. Let’s just get on with it…

This is a movie all about how three rappers got their lives turned upside down. They got in a fight with a leprechaun and their blind moms wasn’t spared. There’s a flute and some crazy ass-lines without care. There, rap schpeel over.  This movie attacks the African American street community from all angles. It is absolutely absurd. It doesn’t care what stereotypes it digs up. It makes stereotypes out of thin air. Who knew every damn black person who

Three posers.

picks up a flute can play a little diddy? I didn’t! And know I do! And the more you know the more you grow and that’s half the battle!

So this movie starts out with three true O.G.’s (original gangsters for the layperson) named Postmaster P. (Anthony Montgomery), Stray Bullet (Rashaan Nall), and Butch (Red Grant). Butch lays down all kinds of beats and is accused of being stupid and a virgin. Apparently, if you don’t have sex and you’re a young African American whippersnapper, everyone in your community will know about it. And that’s a damn fact. These guys destroyed their sound equipment because Butch and his ingenious thoughts told him to create a chemical factory on his turntables. Nice one there Mutumbo. In desperate need of cash to fulfill their dreams of rap stardom that will begin in Las Vegas, these three go out to case a joint.

That bat... came from his fro...

And who do they decide to knock over? Ice T, A.K.A., Mack Daddy O’Nassas. In an earlier scrape with the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis), O’Nassas found himself toe-to-toe with someone who could never truly play basketball. An Earl Boykins, if you will. With dope rhymes and insane powers to force your hands to drop any weapon, it seemed as if Ice T was doomed. And then, after going through a gun, knife, and mini baseball bat all stored in his afro, Ice T caught his break. A necklace that encases the Leprechaun in stone is launched onto his neck. Leaving him free to make his jive-ass famous, Ice T makes himself a rap mogul with his own recording label.

Davis hittin' that hard blunt.

Many years pass and the three young punks from the bad part of town show up and promote their fresh new look at rap. The positivity that comes with good thoughts and working together. But, in what I can only describe as ridiculousness, Ice T denies this positive turn on rap and says, “We have to rap about capping our homies in the face and smackin’ up a bitch and hoe.” As much as I do that in my daily life, what’s so wrong rapping positively? It may stop a bit of violence here or there. Some special commentary right there.

So the dope trio unleashes the beast and a wild goose chase ensues. O’Nassas is after their black asses (Geez, can I rap?) and the Leprechaun is hot on their tails like Southern Fried Molasses. Word. Can’t get enough? There’s more.

The Leprechaun's zombie hoes.

These three try to con some whack black pawn dealer named Jackie Dee (Dan Martin). This guy loves his biatches and that becomes the end of him. Any person these guys interact with have to bite the bullet. Even poor old Mr. Chang (throw some Asian racism in there for good measure). Postmaster’s blind mamma gets roped in and the best scene! The Leprechaun gets jiggy with a tranny. And bangs him/her to death? I think?!? It’s all kinds of insanity. And Butch wanted some of that beefcake…

Yes. The lines.

AND THE LINES. Oh, the lines. Every limerick spewed from Warwick Davis’s mouth is pure genius. Here’s a little taste/ad lib. Come here my sweet lass, sit on my lap. Let me look at you, before I give your sweet ass a tap. That made me lose it right there. I give props to Warwick Davis. For someone who went into this movie knowing he’d be hitting some fat blunts, rollin’ hard on some sad-ass thugs, and banging some strange hoes, he stone faced it like a champ. Even Ice T, strange actor and angry man that he is, must have known this could have been a career breaker if it hadn’t been pulled off comedically enough.

So all hell breaks loose, Leprechaun raises some beat ass zombie sluts from the beyond, and two masculine black gangsters dress up in drag, and somehow fool the Leprechaun into thinking they’re bangable. What new devilry is this? If it wasn’t for my open-mindedness and appreciation for all forms of macabre comedy and outrageously sick minded view on what is funny, I don’t know if I would even consider this a movie. But I do. And I will. The Leprechaun gets his in the end and his flute to control minds is restored. He even gets his own little rap in. With an ending to the Leprechaun series with number 5, this movie effectively killed off this mean little green baddie. But he went out with a strap and bang, all gangster like. So…. wasssgood?

Best. Pose. Ever.

I know this movie is bad. But for comedy I give it a 6.3 out of 10. Overall, 3.5 out of 10. But I’m biased. so watch it for yourself and post a comment on how badly you thought it was, or how racist my blog was. It’s all good in the hood.

AND GET THIS. There’s a second Leprechaun in the Hood movie! I’ll be back after I check this one out as well.

Rush Hour 3: And Chris Tucker Rides Out on the Horse He Rode in On

And sadly, the Rush Hour series draws to a close. In Detectives Carter and Lee’s last hurrah, the duo meets up after the untimely assassination attempt of the ambassador from Rush Hour that Detective Lee was assigned to protect. Lee (Jackie Chan) is determined with the help of Carter (the infamous Chris Tucker) to find the people responsible behind this attempt. As usual, another old man is behind it, (Max von Sydow) and there’s another attractive girl for Chris Tucker (Noemie Lenoir). Although not the best of the trilogy (Rush Hour 2 fo life.), this one holds its own as another great Brett Ratner piece.

What has always surprised me about the Rush Hour series is just how great and accurate the locations are that Lee and Carter travel to. We have L.A. in the orig, Hong Kong and Las Vegas in the second, and now L.A. and Paris in

Paris, Biatch!

the third. Just like the Bourne Series, these movies span the world and keep the action coming. (But Matt Damon cannot perform the functions of both Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, and in that way, lack somewhat.) The B-roll footage all around picturesque Paris is quite cool, including shots of a recreated Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triumphe (I hope that’ s how it’s spelled…). The stunts are really notable in this film, and I love how they end the movies with bloopers of Jackie Chan hurting himself doing his own stunts.

Notable actors? There are a few. We have as I mentioned Max von Sydow as the evil old man (quite cantankerous). Most notably I remember him from Minority Report, but he’s been in the biz for a while now.

Not actually brothers.

There’s Hiroyuki Sanada as Kenji, the badass orphan brother of Detective Lee. (They’re not actually brothers at all, they just grew up on the streets together. Which is weird, because Jackie Chan is Chinese and Hiroyuki is Japanese. It’s quite noticeable.) There’s also Yvan Attal, a traditionally French actor who made an appearance in this movie as George, the taxi cab driver. I do like it when they use actual actors from their places of origin in travel movies like these.

Other than that, this movie functions purely as a nice little closing to the Rush Hour series. The Triads are defeated when the list is found, Lee and Carter went through their rough patches and became even closer, it’s all good. It’s just truly a feel good movie. Besides a couple of parts. I would put this on Ross LaManna and Jeff Nathanson, but it might partly be the fault of Chris Tucker’s delivery. There a quite a few racist remarks that are made towards Iranians, French, and even a feel of American supremacy while Lee and Carter parade around France. It’s almost unbearably awkward. I would watch out for it, but at this point, Chris Tucker is untouchable.

 

Chris Tucker. Untouchable

The stunts are good, maybe better than the other two. Brett Ratner again directs the movie to the best of his ability, that’s fine. Chris Tucker is hilarious (to an extent) and there are some hot and steamy scenes in this you won’t wanna miss. I’d give this one an average rating in comparison to the entire series. 6.6 out of 10.

Rush Hour 2: Chris Tucker Returns

So right after watching the first Rush Hour, I was like, “Let’s spark up the next one.” These movies are great and I need to watch them all in pretty rapid order. I mean, come on, it’s Chris Tucker. And you may be postulating, “What if the movie was called Traffic Jam and it starred Jet Li and Chris Rock?” Well I hear what you’re saying friend, but then we’re talking about a movie that’s not funny in which people die quite quickly. Call it Traffic Jam if you’d like, I’ll still go for Rush Hour 1-3.

So, basic plot. Detectives Carter (Chris Tucker) and Lee (Jackie Chan) have teamed up again, except this time, it’s different. (Straight out of the trailer, right?) This time, Detective Carter is on vacation, right where the last one dropped off, in China. Good old Hong Kong. But while there, a bomb goes off on U.S. soil at the local American Embassy, and somebody sinister is to blame. Detective Lee takes on the case, pulling along the constantly, yet hilariously bitching and moaning Carter as they cavort through the streets of Hong Kong (and later Las Vegas) in search of those no good hoodlums.

Now this movie is a step up in acting in comparison from the last movie. Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan are golden. We lose Tom Wilkinson as Juntao, but we gain John Lone as Ricky Tan, the triad boss and former friend of Detective Lee’s father (although I would find it hard to believe that Lee and Tan are actually closer in age than would be Lee’s father…) I didn’t realize how great

John Lone

John Lone really was. He’s been in War, (shortly after RH2) The Last Emperor, Year of the Dragon, and even a remake at the start of his career as a bit piece in King Kong (Chinese cook, 1976). Now that’s a great career if you ask me, especially The Last Emperor, that movie’s fantastic.

What surprised me more that I had forgotten about was that Ziyi Zhang is in this film. With all the movies she’s been in, I feel like she must be the pride and joy of China (besides Jackie Chan). But Ziyi is great as Hu Li, the badass woman who takes no crap and destroys Chris Tucker. I actually would love to take a second to recap her amazing career:

Ziyi Zhang. Yes.

1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Ridiculously good)

2. Rush Hour 2 (Great, reviewing it currently)

3. The Warrior

4. Hero (She’s worked with Jackie Chan AND Jet Li)

5. House of Flying Daggers (SO visually appealing)

6. Memoirs of a Geisha (Award winning)

7. Even TMNT (Voice acting at its finest)

So yeah, I would definitely think that Ziyi Zhang is a big deal. Her fighting is great and she’s really beautiful. Definite Top 10 actresses in my book.

We also have the amazingly gorgeous Roselyn Sanchez, the Puerto Rican goddess who has done her fair share of acting. She plays the sassy, no

Roselyn Sanchez. Puerto Rican Goddess

nonsense undercover agent with a smokin’ body, Isabella Molina. Although she doesn’t come in until later, this woman definitely lights up the screen.

Again, this movie is classic, suave, and full of Chris Tucker in a robe. What more could you want, I’ll throw something your way, sir. Comedy. And Chris Tucker has it all. Black comedy, situational quips and humor, observational comedy, rapport, slapstick. He’s got all that shizz on lockdown. Talk about your A-list comedian. The buck stops here with Chris Tucker.

Only the best.

I really feel like Brett Ratner and Ross LaManna have done it again with the sequel to a great movie. The moves and stunts this time are tighter, faster. Chris Tucker has picked up some moves. The Chinese girls are hot, spicy even. Ziyi Zhang brings a new kind of evil to the screen. The plot thickens and then disperses. And I can’t wait for the next one. 7.7 out of 10.