Tag Archives: pooped my pants

Baby’s Day Out: My Slapstick Childhood Returns

I love this movie poster.

The second I saw that this film came on Netflix, I pooped my pants, very similar to what Baby Bink would’ve done (although they’re 18 now…) . This movie made me laugh so hard when I was younger and I really found it to be an endearing movie for children of all ages. Heck, I’m 21 now and I enjoyed it just as much as when I was 8. The Worton twins are adorable and have great movie presence for how young they are. It may have taken a lot of shots to get those adorable faces to do what they wanted, but they got the right shots. My childhood was not soon forgotten when I watched this movie again. I remembered every part.

Baby’s Day Out is the story of a baby in a suburb of Chicago. With his well-to-do family always wanting their child to be the center of attention, Laraine (Lara Flynn Boyle) and Bennington (Matthew Glave) want Bink’s picture in the newspaper. (They use such pretentious names to show that all they care about is high class image and money.) Three no-good lousy crooks find the photography company and take their place, posing as professionals. Their names? Joe Matengna, Joe Pantoliano, and Brian Haley. If only they could’ve gotten a third Joe/Italian gangster to fill out the trio…

The dastardly trio.

Baby Bink is kidnapped and the crooks demand a ransom. With the FBI on the job (such a high class mission right?), it’s only a matter of time before Baby Bink is found. But Baby Bink doesn’t need their help. He has the power of comedic timing and slapstick comedy and wit on his side. And this is the exact point where a lot of critics were lost on finding this film redeemable. It is cheesy, but at least they got a good cast to fill out the humor. Look, this is Joe Pantoliano, before Joe Pantoliano was Cypher from The Matrix. Yes, he did good work before, and after, but that was when Pantoliano came into my awareness.

Look at this cute baby. Staring death in the face.

And I have no problem with the cheesiness of this film. It can be cheddar for all I care, this movie appeals to the child’s audience and the child in all of us. And my inner child tells me I loved slapstick back in the day. This movie delivers it well, just like Home Alone. And apparently this did well in the box office… And in Southeast Asia… Weird.

So bring in the wonderful elements of great Italian actors, slapstick, and a cute baby, and this movie is gold. It is so endearing and the music sweeps you away into the children’s book that Bink is reliving. That’s what I liked about it, that element of magical whimsy. The magical sense of adventure that lies in the bottoms of all of our hearts is reinvigorated by a baby crawling around Chicago. Who knew?

This gets a bit ridonkulously funny.

And there are so many great scenes! The apartment rooftop scene screams of parkour gone wrong. (Just watched District 13: Ultimatum. Can’t get Parkour out of my head.) Matengna delivers his big boss with a boo-boo lines so well and, surprisingly, Pantoliano is a great buffoon. I love that he’s bald in this like he always is, it gives a great slapstick element to the trio. My favorite scene in the Primate house is wonderful and gets me every time. Not to mention the fire crotch scene (you’ll get what I mean when you watch this too and relive your childhood). With all things good and cute in this movie, who wouldn’t want to watch this for the coo’s and awwwww’s, mixed with a laugh in there for all ages? It’s a wonderfully nostalgic experience. A well worth it 8.6 out of 10 (by my childhood grading scale).

Look at this cute face. Check it.

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Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

After seeing this trailer for Tim and Eric’s new movie, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom in order to clean the boxers I had just soiled. Having watched every single episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! countless times, I had to see this the second I could get my hands on it. And I did. And it was great. But I’ll need more than just that to review a classic T&E production properly.

In this movie, a simple plot is simple. Tim and Eric, after revamping their images in the most bizarre of ways, spend a billion dollars in making a box office hit. That is about 5 minutes long. It’s one shot along a Paris street of a man in a suit of diamonds. Diamond Jim. Played by Johnny Depps. And all he has to say is “Bonjour.” He delivers the biggest of diamond rings (being Diamond Jim, Bonjour.) to a lovely waitress and the movie ends. (The credit roll reminds me of the days when I used to take credit for everything I did in my home movies…)

The lights pick up and a garishly and horrifically dressed Tim and Eric turn around in their movie seats to see Tommy Schlaaang in his Schlaaang Recliner (stirrups up and being used) in classic Cinco fashion, disgusted with their production. And seeing as they spent all the money he gave them on diamonds and things for themselves, they have to find some way to make a billion dollars. So what do they think they’ll do? Revitalize a mall.

Hi, Hi, Hi, I'm Chef Goldblum

Oh how the hi-jinks begin. Upon finding this mall in Historic Swallow Valley, they find Damien Weebs (Will Ferrell) in the back office. Sitting there in utter despair, Weebs has no idea how to push his failing mall onto some unsuspecting suckers. Until Tim and Eric fall for the aptly placed commercial in a bar bathroom. After a watch and a rewatch of Top Gun, Weebs is finally ready to turn over his mall. I honestly thought (even if it wasn’t) it was a great stab at the failed use of repetition in Family Guy. With Taquito (John C. Reilly) as their guide, the pair must vanquish a Pizza Court wolf and a handful of vagrants.

This is where the conventional plot is derailed. From here we have Reggie and his son Jeffrey (Matt O’Toole and Noah Spencer) and Tim’s obsession with Jeffrey. He even cuckolds (incorrect usage but whatevs) Reggie into giving up his son to Tim.

So what'd you think?

Righteous. And then Eric meets the love of his life, Katie (Twink Kaplan). There’s some betrayal and one of the strangest sex acts I’ve ever seen in a film, followed by one of the most graphic diarrhea scenes ever recorded. This movie has it all. As well as an explosive ending.

There were complaints in the reception as far as length. With a show that started off on Adult Swim as a 10 minute sketch comedy, this movie was 9 times that. It is almost an entire season’s length in one sitting. And this left people hanging and at times bored with the slow

Are you ready to enter the Shrim?

chugging along of the same plot at great length. I can say the same for myself. It’s not that I have ADHD or ADD, but this movie tried my patience at times. Without the freedom to jump around to whatever they felt like, it left certain parts as plot and others as pure comedy sketches. The transition between the two cut short some laughs.

Other than that, this movie hit home to millions (I hope there’s millions…) of T&EASGJ! fans all over the… planet (?) It had the characters you love from past episodes (James Quall and David Liebe Hart) and reformed actors into characters you grew to love (Will Forte and John C. Reilly). It doesn’t disappoint and delivers a decent bit more than the trailer suggested (i.e. Ray Wise returns as Dr. Doone Struts with SHRIM.). All in all you have to love the effort and the delivery Tim and Eric give to their fans of all things alternative comedy. It’s a wonderful thing. In comparison to the show, this deserves a 7.1 out of 10.

Oh, how niiiiiceee.