The Dictator: An Actual Plot from Sacha Baron Cohen

I would say I’ve been a pretty big supporter and follower of Sacha Baron Cohen since his Ali G Show days. I loved all his characters when I watched it on HBO and to see them grow into full length movie characters is wonderful. Borat was a wonderful undercover comedy film. Then he followed that up with Bruno, my favorite of his alternate egos. And then, from all this talk about Hussein, Kim Jong-Il, and Gaddafi comes Admiral General Hafez Aladeen. His ability to focus in on one idea that plagues people’s prejudices and preconceived notions on the world around them is spot on as usual. But this one comes with a twist.

Aladeen (Cohen) is a dictator from the North of Africa. In the sweltering heat and tossing sands (a la Hussein), Aladeen lives his life as dictator in luxury. His WMD’s are coming

Aladeen and his majestic hawk, in luxury.

along, he has an all female amazonian entourage and guard, and his palace is so gigantic and wonderful, especially with his fleet of golden Hummers. He’s had sex with everyone (including the great Schwarzenegger. Megan Fox makes an appearance. I wasn’t surprised.) and he is an unforgiving ruler. He sends so many people to death that it’s expected.

As I expected Megan Fox to be in a situation like this…

And then, with the U.N. meeting in NYC looming, Aladeen is kidnapped and tortured. Clayton (John C. Reilly) is a forgiving CIA operative and lets Aladeen off with a shaven face (and then he accidentally burns to death). Stuck in America with only his wits and nobody who believes he’s the real thing, Aladeen’s uncle Tamir (Ben Kingsley) is planning on making Wadiya into a democratic country with the ability to sell their oil. Aladeen must stop them and keep Wadiya a dictatorship. This is the only time you’ll see a dictator as the hero/protagonist (unless you’re watching a film in their country, then probably you will).

This movie is full of a bunch of funny satirized stereotypes and Middle Eastern humor. As usual, Cohen self deprecatingly attacks his Jewish heritage once again. The Chinese law of one child per family is attacked with the baby birthing scene (as seen in the trailer) and masturbation has never been so patriotic. Sacha Baron Cohen is rather tame in this film in

The Man.

comparison to others, only one or two penises on screen and a handful of sexual references (unless you mention the Saw like birthing canal scene).

I really hoped this happened on the streets of NYC.

There’s a great supporting cast of cultural ecclesiastics  in this film. There’s Ben Kingsley, using his darker complexion to play a Middle Eastern man in this film. I’m always surprised when he pops up in comedies. Jason Mantzoukas plays Nadal, the weapons expert and friend to Aladeen in this movie. This man of Greek descent has been doing comedies for a while now and this is just another one. Bobby Lee rears his freaky head in this movie as a U.N. representative who can get a B.J. from whatever celebrity he wants (insert Ed Norton cameo here). His outrageous nature is made for this movie, and that dude will do anything to strip down into a thong. And one of my favorite appearances was Adeel Akhtar as one of Aladeen’s posse, Maroush. Throw in Fred Armisen and the revitalization of Anna Faris’s career as the love interest hippy, Zoe, and you got yourself a satirical comedy.

The best scene.

I really don’t think there’s anywhere that Sacha Baron Cohen won’t go. His terrorist attack scene in the tours helicopter is hilarious. Ironically, he and Jason Mantzoukas are speaking Hebrew. This points out the fact that a lot of languages, although all different may sound similar to an American audience. And all the iconic songs that he turned into an Aladeen medley! Everybody Hurts, 9 to 5, Let’s Get it On, how much that the way the songs were sung alone made me laugh! Cohen even goes to a black man’s funeral in order to procure a beard from a severed head that reappears constantly in the movie. With no bounds and no forgiveness, Sacha Baron Cohen delivers on all cylinders. 8.1 out of 10.

Heavy Rain

What is there to say about Heavy Rain that hasn’t been said by thousands of other game reviewers? This game is awesome. This game is incredible. Not as intense as most action games as you’d expect, but if you just like pressing buttons and being immersed in a cinematic experience for about 6 hours… Play. This. Game.

What should I say about the plot. First of all, the title isn’t random. It is badass as Hell though. Think about it. Heavy Rain. A lot of shady, ridiculous shizz goes down in back alleys and seedy motels when it rains hard. Just look at Identity. Great movie, very similar in feel and tone to this game. Watch them in conjunction, I don’t care. Or watch Se7en, there’s no end to the parallels between thriller movies in crummy cities and this game. This game epitomizes that and makes it 6 hours (or more) long.

There are four characters you play as in this game. Gotta say right off the bat that two of them really aren’t that strong. Ethan Mars is a Dad. Enough said. His son is killed in an unfortunate car accident and his other son is kidnapped by a

Ethan Mars. He's a dad.

certain “origami killer”. (In this game it’s pronounced Ori-gamee for no reason.) You must be a true dad and save your son at all costs. You also play as Scott Shelby. He’s a P.I., out looking for the kids being kidnapped by the Origami Killer. Fat and overweight, he has a good soul. And there’s Norman Jayden of the F.B.I. This guy wrecks shit. He has this crime scene investigative turn-of-the-century ARI gadget that allows him to analyze and solves crimes instantaneously on scene. There is a catch to that though. And then there’s Madison Paige. She’s a slutty reporter.

Ahhh, the amazingly graphically stunning seedy motel.

The greatest part about this game has to be the decision making. You can play this over and over again and unlock any of a number of outcomes and endings for your characters. Every individual choice you make has repercussions that flow throughout the entire game. (Make sure you kiss/don’t kiss Madison. Huge repercussions either way.) You can make your characters do classic SIMS things like… sexually take a shower or pee. Also, you can fight in a number of quick draw reaction command scenes that could potentially kill your character based on your decisions. The entire games ending is up to you. Use this power wisely.

Norman Jayden. Will kick your ass.

Not to forget when it comes to this game that the graphics are out of this world… for February 2010. Since this game isn’t that old, it’s going to hold up for some time to even the biggest neurotic game design critic. Hands and the occasional motion are a bit skewed, but it doesn’t change the amazing camera angles that are employed to make this feel as if you’re watching a movie. Despite it being a one player game, invite the friends over, but don’t tell them it’s not a movie. Have someone hide with a wireless controller and have them sit there for every long hour of the game. It will fly by. And they will love it.

The game play doesn’t change much per difficulty, so its pretty accessible to

Madison Paige, useless slutty reporter, on the prowl.

whomever wants to play it. What’s great is the interactions with the controller. You can utilize the motion of the controller in order to throttle, punch, and get out of tight holds. Even balancing the controller can result in an action in the game. What wonderful technology Sony has created. A Wii motion combined with a Playstation/Xbox controller style. What will they think of next?

What decision will you make?

So with great plot and good voice acting (almost extending into character acting with playable characters being based on real actors) this game will immerse you in a run to the finish, a game against time, life and death to its fullest extent. If you like horror/thriller movies like Saw or the Hannibal series, this game was meant for you. Enjoy and hopefully there will be a Heavy Rain 2.

9.5 out of 10.

Rush Hour: Chris Tucker Comedy Hour

So I watched this my roommate recently and had a blast the whole time. I forgot how funny these movies could be. Chris Tucker, as the title of my blog suggests, really is the hilarious force behind this movie. Every line out of his mouth was perfectly delivered and left me literally laughing out loud. With the combination of Tucker’s black humor and Chan’s pretty much sick stunts, this movie makes out to be a pretty entertaining ride.

Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan become this super-cop duo of Det. Carter and Det. Lee in their search for the ambassador from China’s daughter. She has been kidnapped by Juntao (Tom Wilkinson) and she is being ransomed at a hefty price. Although Lee and Carter bungle up the drops every once in a while, they get the job done in the end and save the day. Pretty simple construct.

Most of the humor in this movie comes from the culture shock that both Lee and Carter face when they’re forced together. There’s this hilarious scene in which Lee confuses Carter’s greetings as something that he’s allowed to say, and Lee must use his badass moves to quell the situation. But enough about Jackie Chan as the Chinese version of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Chris Tucker is where it’s at. Every line out of his mouth is either a slap against Lee and his ethnicity or something witty said in such a stereotyped way that you can’t help but laugh at it. There’s something about Tucker’s appearance and high, tinny voice that forces me not to take him seriously.

There’s not much to say cinematographically about the film, or even acting wise. Brett Ratner does a great job in directing all three of the Rush Hours and the acting, from mostly “A” to “B” grade actors is on par or better. The one thing I do like about this movie is the cameo appearance of Chris Penn, one of the Penn brothers who I always enjoy seeing. Back to Ratner though, I will say this about him. Any guy that can go from Rush Hour to Red Dragon to X-men, I find to be pretty darn impressive. The guy who wrote the story for the movie Ross LaManna is great. Great stuff he thinks up. Oh, and I almost

Ken Leung. Badass.

forget to mention, Ken Leung is in this movie! Can anybody say Sang from Saw?!?!? YES.

I just thought, “Hey, I like this movie.” Not my ultimate favorite, but let’s review it. It’s worth a laugh and it’s great seeing Jackie Chan at the pique of his prime. (He’s getting older now and The Forbidden Kingdom was kinda sad. I mean, yes, Jackie Chan, Jet Li. Awesome. But no to the story/white kid.) All three are great and I really can’t choose my favorite. But check back in to The Abyss and you might find the others reviewed later so you can decide for yourself. 6 out of 10.

By the way, it’s been suggested that I do a top 10 favorite anime/T.V./Movies/Video Games/Books/Whathaveyou, and I think this is a great idea. If anyone would like to comment (Please) and suggest genres or things I should review, please let me know. I’m up for everything and as you know, The Abyss encompasses Everything.

Higurashi When They Cry

I love horror movies. The guts and gore, the intense scenes of pain and suffering, even the intense sense of terror it all brings. No. I’m not a morbid person. I think quite highly of human life and its preservation. But I find that now, When They Cry holds a special place in my heart, right next to Saw.

This show, for lack of a better word, is intense. I’ve seen my fair share of anime by now that show the occasional spurt of blood. I’ve never seen an animated situation ever make me squirm though. (Watch the Eye Opening arc and you’ll know. Ha. Eye opening.) These characters, although most in their teens, are some twisted people, although for me, redonkulous at the same time. These characters plot out (and get away with) murders, brutal assaults, and even the occasional torture. But what kind of a reviewer would I be if I didn’t give some back story.

The whole story takes place in a small rural village known as Hinamizawa, the former site of a dam construction that would have taken over the entire town. But, in an odd series of events, all chalked up to the Oyashiro-sama Curse. This is the town’s savior and protector who wards away the demons and keeps the town safe. He’s quite the violent type who kills and spirits away though, all on the town’s only festival, the Cotton Drifting Festival. This story frames all the arcs of the series and lays the groundwork for an all too eerie storyline.

 

Rena and Mion (Sadistic in School Uniform)

There are five main characters the develop the stories of each arc. All five of these character reside in a one classroom schoolhouse of 15 students. First we have Keiichi Maebara, the only of the boys who, for me, plays as the protagonist at least 50% of the time. He has just recently moved to Hinamizawa and usually finds that the village is messed up. There’s Rena Ryugu, the ditzy girl who’s in love with cuddly things. She literally thinks everything tiny and innocent is unbelievably adorable. There’s also Mion Sonozaki, the green haired dominatrix who runs the gaming club at her school. She’s quite the leader and does her utmost to please her family. Along with these three comes what I’d like to call the adorable double: Rika Furude and Satoko Houjou. These two lay waste to everything with their cuteness and great personalities. You could almost call these two half of a whole cuddly teddy bear.

First impressions. I had watched the first episode a while ago and thought, how is this show frightening? You don’t get any sense of foreboding out of any of this. Typical school-age anime. BUT NO. Now that it’s been months and I’ve picked it up again, it’s anything but. Every arc starts off with a cutesy, “relaxer” episode, followed by 4 or 5 episodes of paranoia and fear. The first arc, Spirited Away by the Demon, is my favorite. It mirrors most horror movies I’ve come to love. (i.e. Orphan. And don’t say that movie’s B.S., cause it isn’t.) It was fantastic. Every arc. About the arcs though. Every arc is either a question or an answer arc. One lays out a problem, and another arc, some of them are in the Kai season, answer it.

The anime started off as a video game. Awesome enough as that is. There you go, chew on that, savor it. Just imagine how amazing this video game must be. Well I read it. It’s a purely read and solve the mystery type game. Some people might like that. I also might at any point beat myself to death with my keyboard. Not my kinda game. But that’s for each person to decide.

The animation of the anime is quite good. The voice acting (subbed, not dubbed, mind you) is ridiculously fantastic. The screams and laughs are harsh and evil. Great combo. One arc, and I won’t say which, is just ridiculous. Most horrific thing in the entire first series. I almost felt as if it wasn’t one of those typical slash and hack horror rides. It was more one of those tastefully done twisted rides that doesn’t leave you hating everything at the end. (But I don’t have a preference as far as hack/slash vs twisted. I love Saw for its twisted mentality, but I love The Hills Have Eyes for its hack/slash approach. I digress.)  This series is worth the watch for its plot, its characters, and its mystery. At every point it’ll ask you to question what if? and who? and most definitely why? 8.4 out of 10.