Tag Archives: Tom

Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels

I gotta tell ya, if you didn’t already know this about me, I love British films. I’ve watched the casts in British T.V., films, and American movies alike, starring alongside other big name actors. They crush their lines with timing and precision, they hold an air of Shakespearean flair, and

The Lock and Stock gang (not actual name).

they got the whole suave, posh thing goin’ on. I gotta hand it to Jason Statham, he’s a godawful muscle man stunt actor in American films, but he fits right in when the rest of the cast is from the U.K. And Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels is this perfect case when it comes to that. A flavorful British cast with a renowned British director in one of his first film debuts, Guy Ritchie. Let the guns fly and the villains die.

Always out for a pint.

That’s basically what this movie is. Although there’s not really any big hero vs. villain gun fights or anything (you can’t tell the heroes from the villains anyway. Why would you want to?) you love the situation and the feel of the movie. It seems like everyone in the film has got a mouth on them, and they all speak the crime lingo. Everyone’s out for themselves with the big payday, and this movie has a big payday indeed.

The movie starts out with Bacon (Jason Statham) a two-bit swindler who speaks easy and cons you out of your money. Selling less than par jewelry, he and Eddy the Card Shark (Nick Moran) run through the streets of London after they’ve been had. Meanwhile, Tom (Jason

Talk about your smoking barrels…

Flemyng) is finishing his last deal with Nick “The Greek” (Stephen Marcus). He’s the brash leader of the group. Then there’s Soap (Dexter Fletcher), the straight walking saucier chef of the bunch. They all bring together 100,000 pounds for Eddy to play with versus Harry “The Hatchet” (P.H. Moriarty). After being forced into a loan and some shady dealings with some cameras and Morse code, Eddy loses and all four of the guys have to pay back 500,000 pounds. Oh no.

Cage match. For keeps.

With no means of being able to pay Harry back, the gang decides to drop in on a fellow gang’s robbery idea, stealing from the thieves. With a domino effect of a plot ensuing, you’ll never see the ending coming (or will you?). I personally was very satisfied with this film. Considered one of those “classic films” you should probably see before you die, I do agree. It is. It has a witty cast and a great vibe to it that just reeks of British gangster (as it should. They’re pretty ballin’.)

I want to spend a bit more time on that ballin’ cast I was talkin’ about. I already said Jason Statham, familiar with his feet set on the other side of the pond (not in America, obviously). There’s Nick Moran, who is someone I’ve seen occasionally in small roles, but after seeing this, I think he is destined for bigger and better things.

You bald buffoon.

Jason Flemyng is one of those actors I love seeing (besides his classic role and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in The League of Extraordinary Gentelmen), and I can’t get enough of his versatility. It was nice to see Dexter Fletcher without gray hair (he plays Nathan’s dad in the British T.V. show, Misfits) and his character is worth a few laughs. And I have to admit that I found P.H. Moriarty to be a pretty nefarious gang boss in this one. He played Gurney Halleck in the Dune series movies for cryin’ out loud! And there’s Vinnie Jones, the former club soccer player in England. Ever since he did this movie, he’s been poppin’ up all over the place. More power to him.

I’m the Juggernaut, female dog.

I loved the plot of this film. I don’t know if I can speak highly enough of it. It has at least 6 moving parties in the film (even some bumbling idiots you wouldn’t expect to do much), and everyone gets in a whole lotta shenanigans by the end. It’s not very often you see such complicated plots like this with such a great amount of dialogue that is pulled off so well. Leave it to the British to do that.

Combine all this with a solid soundtrack, colorful references and

Let’s get it poppin’.

language and a dialect all its own, and you have a crime film that defines the late 1990’s (even into the 2000’s). I’m just sorry I hadn’t seen this earlier. It kicked my ass, and left me wanting to see some other crime flicks. Looks like Revolver and RocknRolla are up now on my list of things to watch. 8.8 out of 10.

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The Adventures of Tintin: The Best

Awwww yeahhhh...

Just to let everyone know, I’m about to rave about how good this movie is. I’m already gonna give this a 10 out of 10, no worries. I’m gonna give this best animated film of 2011. As if there was any competition. I’ve been reading Tintin graphic novels since I was a wee lad. This stuff, pardon my French, is my shizz. I love Tintin and his trusty wire fox terrier, Snowy. Captain Haddock is hilarious with his alliterative swear words. The mysteries are fun and engaging for all ages. And this movie EPITOMIZES everything that was good about the comics. I can’t think of a single book/comic/graphic novel that completely translates a movie from the work that you loved. (If you can refute this statement, post one. You can’t, but you can try.)

From the amazing minds of Steven Spielburg and Peter Jackson, the story of the ace journalist/detective Tintin comes

Tintin and Haddock, on the adventure.

straight from the first comic. The meeting of Haddock. Flawless. I felt I was re-reading the first graphic novel. Page for page. In 107 minutes, I was taken into a world I could completely believe in. A world I wished I existed in since I was 9. Now this has been a ridiculously good year for Spielburg. He directed The Adventures of Tintin and War Horse. One is a heartwarming story about a horse getting Oscar buzz, the other is an amazing story about the greatest hero of all time, and it was judge by its earnings in America. Come on, are you serious? Let’s see… Oh my, it made a measly $10 million domestically. It floundered here in the U.S. Hmmmm… $270 in foreign box offices? It just looks to me as if people abroad (where Tintin originated) appreciate it far more than those here who lack a bit of ecclesiastical appreciation. I’m not blaming anyone, it just goes to show we need to publish and distribute more Tintin comics here.

How great does that look? Bell and Serkis, experiencing innovation.

Back to Spielburg. (Sorry Peter.) Along with these great directing jobs, Spielburg executively produced 4 T.V. shows (one of those being Terra Nova, getting some buzz there, the other big one, Falling Skies) and a series of big blockbuster movies. Those being Cowboys and Aliens (need to see), Transformers 3 (eh… no), Real Steel (big no), and Super 8 (HELL YES). Toss in War Horse and Tintin and you got a sextuple threat right there. I’d call that a year of bank. But I guess that’s not to try to detract from Peter Jackson’s contribution. Jackson has The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey two parter to look forward to releasing. That’s gonna do just as well as the LOTR series for shizzle.

What other names can I boast about related to this movie? Well, there’s John Williams on the orchestra chops. Check out about every single Spielburg/Lucas movie and you’ll find J. Williams name tagged on there. Anybody who can cinematically sweep me off my feet with a recognizable build, that’s gold right there. AND THE VOICE ACTORS. That’s just think about that for a second. Voice actors. I know they’re acclaimed actors, but they use their voices to bring this movie together. And a bunch of great names to talk about in relation to their characters.

There are no words for how incredible this is.

Jamie Bell as Tintin. Right there. That’s a big name with some great roles attached to it. The boy of Billy Elliot among other great English roles this guy has taken? Fantastic. I used to do my own English accent in my mind to pretend I was Tintin, but now Jamie Bell’s voice will forever signify and epitomize who Tintin is. Andy Serkis and Captain Haddock. PHENOMENAL. I’ve never known an actor who can throw out a cacophony of voices and make them all sound legitimate. His drunken Scottich drawl is just exactly what Haddock ordered. His buffoonery and hijinks really carry the story along, as Tintin and his levelheadedness truly get them out of some sticky situations. Here, get this. Daniel Craig AS THE BAD GUY. Who saw that coming? Playing the nefarious Sakharine/Red Rackham, Craig really steps it up by expanding his acting chops inside a recording booth. Nick Frost and Simon Pegg as the Thompson twins? I’ll take some of that. They were funny in the comics and in the movie as well. Spot on. Toby Jones as Silk the pickpocket? I thought at first that he would be Professor Calculus when I first saw him, but that wasn’t the case. (Professor Calculus was supposed to be in Red Rackham’s Treasure, but only introduced.) Even Mackenzie Crook, side star of the Pirates series as the wooden eyed lackey and star of The Office (U.K.), offered his voice as Tom, one of the lackeys of Haddock’s former crew. And, get this as well, even Cary Elwes, star of Saw 1 and The Princess Bride, lends his voice as a minor character! (Look for him as a pilot on the biplane!) Everyone English wanted to get in on the action of Tintin!

Let’s talk about the animation! This new age of 3-D digital animation is just phenomenal. Anything can be done with today’s technology. I would give this movie and the recently made L.A. Noire game the tops for this category of innovation. When you can make iconic cartoon characters seem real and RESEMBLE the voice actors who play them? Kudos. I will give a standing ovation to that. The amazing attention to details with shadows and minor costume effects and the tiniest of details is just mental. You have to really care about the work you’re doing to be that good. And I’m sure all the people that worked on this movie were.

There are so many great comedic/fast paced action sequences in this movie as well! The scenes on the Karaboudjan ship and the flashbacks to the Haddock/Rackham fight were epic (and I don’t use epic lightly). And the final chase scene at the end are the epitome of badass. Even the final battle between Haddock and his ancient rival are just too amazing. Bravo on all accounts of action.

Just. Fantastic.

I gotta tell ya, there is just no end to my love of this movie and Tintin and all his adventures. I hope they make a movie for every single graphic novel. The start up of every story is great. Tintin stumbles on some piece of history and it ties him into a dangerous adventure that will test his mind and body. He should be every young man’s hero and role model. And speaking of young children, I was happy to see how many parents took their children to see this movie. It’s age appropriate and wonderful for the entire family, young and old alike. It has everything and leaves you wanting more. The entire time. I can’t get over it. A

Tintin 4 Life.

perfect, flawless 10 out of 10. Best film of 2011? Maybe… Tintin will tell.


Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

Let me first start off by saying that this show isn’t for everyone. If you don’t find dark, off the wall, probably funny if you were high or on large doses of acid, absurd humor funny without the addition of narcotics, this show is probably not for you. After I had spent time ritually watching Tom Goes to the Mayor (This is a blueprint stop motion animated short show in which Tom/Tim Heidecker goes to the Mayor/Eric Wareheim.) I found out about this show. I had only seen one segment prior, and my friends at school would laugh about the new episodes every Friday in school. But yes, my first and only image of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! was Chippy, the baby with a mustache that screams when spotted. I knew I had to check out this entire show.

And so I did. 5 nights, 5 seasons. Series 1 through Cinco. There was many a time I was frightened, and  many a time I pooped my pants in laughter. My roommate Ian and I (he’s my movie/T.V. show buddy, we watch everything together) spent a week straight laughing for the hour and 40 minutes that was Tim and Eric. Frankly, this show has great actors, great characters, and great, absurd humor. I greatly applaud Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim for their work.

Great Job!, Tim and Eric

Every season consists of 10 episodes that are 10 minutes each. Eric and Tim play themselves, they play stock characters, they bust out the outrageous character or two. There’s really not anything to ruin as far as spoilers go in this show. Nobody dies (or stays dead for long) not really any continuous plot from episode to episode. It’s all about the absurdity and low quality/college campus acting and effects.

Best stock characters. Yes. We have James Quall, the horrific, dull, doll-like impressionist who loves Cosby and spaghetti and meatballs. David Leibe Hart, the man picked right off the streets for his work with ventriloquism assisted by the most frightening dummies known to man. Richard Dunn, the cantankerous old man who is always on the verge of kicking the bucket. Pierre (Ron Austar), the dad obsessed funk dancer who loves meat, but not

There's my Chippy

when it’s spoiled. And of course Chippy, the hirsute baby with the greatest scream on the face of the planet.

And it’s not just these drifters off the street that make up the show. We also have character/T.V. show/movie actors and other celebrities that make special appearances based on the episode. Of course there’s Dr. Steve Brule (John C. Reilly) with

For Your Health!

Brule’s rules and the varying segment where he drinks some wine or makes a panini. Tairy Greene (Zach Galifianakis. I feel like this is what made him popular.) the actor/director who shouts at children and dances as he flies through the air. Will Grello (Will Forte), the man who is haunted by his childhood and occasionally lets us into his brain to view his nightmares. Also of notable interest, David Cross who shows up as a pizza boy in a porno, a celeb exec, and a crazed old man who attaches paintbrushes to cats.  There’s Josh Groban, singing the best of Casey Tatum and his brother, Marilyn Manson without makeup as the dark man, Rainn Wilson, always as some creepy character, and Paul Rudd, dancing it out on his computer to himself. There’s also a little scene you may discover interesting when Tim and Eric battle in tennis and they have stunt doubles. Check it out for yourself.

And if that doesn’t catch your interest with that laundry list of great actors and celebrities, there are the stock characters that Tim and Eric perform. There’s Jan and Wayne Skylar, Channel 5’s best married news team, although they don’t show up as much as I’d like them to. (Tim Heidecker always plays really good soccer mom looking women and such.)

Ah Spagett!!!

Spagett, one of the greatest characters that Tim portrays, a balding, pony-tailed man who jumps out and spooks people with a “Spagett!” The Beaver Boys who can’t resist a good shrimp and white wine. Casey Tatum and his brother, always performing on Uncle Muscles’s (Weird Al Yankovic) Hour. This is consistently my favorite sketch and it’s great when they literally have Josh Groban on to do his own renditions of Casey’s songs. And I could go on. Every sketch is great along with every episode. The only part I would recommend skipping is the Women’s  Afternoon Review.” Those sections disturb me, and I don’t mind 99% of the things I see on T.V. and movies.

What more is there to say about Tim and Eric. They take things far beyond any other show I’ve ever witnessed. (Man milk, puberty, eating their own boogers, etc…) They practice their scenes, I’m sure, to such a great degree that every action and gesture is done is such a way that it’s absurd, awkward, too long, and yet hilarious nonetheless. Their humor destroys. The have good guest stars. The premises of their episodes make no sense. And I would consider this among the top 10 funniest shows that have ever been on television. 9.7 out of 10. Check it out. Great Job!

And here’s my Chippy.